


Breaking The Ice Walls

by luckysnowflake



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-29 23:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckysnowflake/pseuds/luckysnowflake
Summary: Dr. Elsa Winter is an accomplished child psychologist, although her dark past prevents her from opening up to others. Anna Johnson is a social worker with a kind heart and warm personality. When the two women are forced together at a professional conference Elsa finds her carefully constructed walls breaking down.





	1. Arrival

Dr. Elsa Winter paused outside the door to the log cabin. I should never have agreed to this, she thought. Taking a deep breath she finally entered the classroom. It was like a small auditorium, with a podium and projector screen in the front and small tables arranged in a semi-circle around the room. 

“Sit anywhere you like for now” a large man with bushy red hair and a beard called out.  
Elsa took a seat in the back and watched her classmates stream in. Eventually her watch read two o’clock and the bearded man appeared ready to get started. 

“Hi, I’m Daniel Oaken, professor of social work at Arendelle University. I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to the first ever conference on the Broward-Trapper approach to working with children with trauma. All of you are here because you are professionals who work, or have a desire to work with, children who are victims of trauma, abuse or neglect. My colleagues and I have put together this course for persons such as yourself to teach you some of the skills and techniques we have refined over the years. During the duration of this program you will be staying here at Camp Arendelle. I will warn you that some of the work we do may be difficult and many of you may find yourself outside of your comfort zone. Our goal is to help you empathize with and relate to the children in your care. Please understand that everything that we do here has a purpose, although if you feel you cannot participate at any time please talk with one of us. And now, I would like to introduce my esteemed colleagues, Dr. Kai Broward and Dr. Gerda Trapper.”

“Thank you Daniel. Hello everyone, I’m Kai Broward, professor of psychiatry at Arendelle University and co-developer of the Broward-Trapper approach to working with traumatized children. Dr. Trapper and I have been developing our techniques over the last two decades and this conference will hopefully be the first of many. Now let me introduce, Dr. Gerda Trapper.” The portly man took a step back. 

Dr Trapper was a thin woman in her fifties with a tight bun. She approached the podium and stared out at the class. “Hi, I’m Gerda. As Kai mentioned we have been working together for quite some time. I am a psychologist with a private practice here in New Hampshire and an associate professor at Arendelle University. Today you will be randomly assigned a partner. While there will be time spent here in the classroom much of your work will really take place with your partner. You will get to know each other quite well, and hopefully build trust and faith in one another. I have placed half of your names in this red bucket.” Gerda held up a red children’s sand bucket. “And Kai has the other half in his.” Kai held up a blue bucket. “Once we call out each pair please find each other and sit at a table together.” 

Once again Elsa found herself wondering what she had gotten herself into. Well, forced into really. Her partners at the clinic had given her little choice. She could remember quite clearly the morning two months ago when she had arrived at work to find the brochure on her desk.  
“What’s the meaning of this?” She had asked Lauren and Dean during their morning coffee before office hours.  
“It’s a new conference. A course really. Being taught by two of the most well respected, accomplished child psychologists in the field.” Dean answered.  
“I know who Broward and Trapper are, I own all of their books. What was this doing on my desk?”  
“Lauren and I thought it would be helpful for you to attend.”  
“No.”  
“Elsa, please. Just hear me out. We know you are a brilliant psychologist. That's why we agreed to open the clinic with you. There is no denying your knowledge, or your abilities as a researcher.”  
“I feel like there’s a but coming.”  
“But, we aren’t a research facility. We work with actual, live children. And to be frank, you could use a little help with that part.”  
“You think I’m bad at my job?”  
“No no, we didn’t say that. But there is room for improvement.” Laura said.  
Deep down Elsa had known they were right. She did have trouble relating to the kids. And adults.  
“Elsa, to be honest, sometimes you come across as being kind of...cold.”  
“Fine. I’ll go. But the first time someone wants a group sing-a-long i’m done.”

Elsa snapped back to attention in time to hear the next name on the list being called.  
“Kristoff Bjorgman.” The young man at the table next to her stood up. He was tall with broad shoulders and thick blonde hair. Kai pulled a name out of his bucket.  
“Hans West.” A slim man with thick sideburns and an expensive suit approached Kristoff and they shook hands before sitting back down.  
Gerda reached into her bucket again. “Elsa Winter” Elsa managed to stand up.  
“Anna Johnson.” Kai called.  
Elsa saw movement at the front of the room. A woman with bright red hair was hurrying towards her. When the woman finally stopped Elsa noticed she had blue eyes and freckles and a dazzling open smile.  
“Hi, I’m Anna.”  
“Elsa Winter.” Elsa shook the woman's hand. They sat down next to each other and waited for Kai and Gerda to finish. Once everyone was re-seated Oaken began passing out packets.  
“These are your handbooks. In here you will find information about your cabin assignments, dining times, and a schedule of each days events. This main cabin contains not only this auditorium, but the cafeteria and a lounge. Next I will pass out journals. These will be used to record your thoughts and feelings as the conference progresses. The information you write will be private so please be honest. Our first class begins tomorrow at nine a.m. We will give you all time to get settled into your cabins and then we’ll see you at dinner.”

“Look, we’re both in cabin two.” Anna pointed out.  
Great, now if we hate each other we won’t even get a break. 

Everyone retrieved luggage from their cars and made their way to their respective cabins. It turned out there were four to a cabin, each one containing two sets of metal bunk beds, four lockers, and a restroom. Elsa eyed the bunks warily.  
“What’s wrong, never seen a bunk bed before?” Anna asked.  
“I’ve seen them. Just never slept in one.”  
“Do you mind if I take the top bunk?”  
“Not at all.” Elsa was secretly relieved.  
Anna enthusiastically climbed onto the top of one of the bunks and bounced a little. “This is just like summer camp.”  
“If you say so.” Jesus, how old was woman? Who gets this excited about sleeping in some musty old cabin?  
“That’s because it is a summer camp.” The door had swung open and the other two occupants drug their stuff inside. “Arendelle camp for troubled youth. It’s funded by the university. I’ve had several kids go to camp here. I’m Danielle by the way, my husband and I are foster parents.” The woman flung her bag on the other bottom bunk, before dropping her considerable weight onto the mattress. “Ugh, the heat is killing me. In two weeks school will be out for summer and this place will start the first session for summer camp.” She wiped sweat off her brow.  
“Wow, that’s awesome.” Anna said enthusiastically.  
“I’m Sheryl, the other woman introduced herself. “I’m a counselor at a juvenile detention facility. I had to beg the state to send me here but hopefully it will be worth it.”  
Anna smiled at the pretty dark-skinned woman. “I’m sure it will be. I’m Anna, and this is Elsa. We’re actually partners too this week.”  
“Well, that’s convenient. Hope you can get a word in with this one, Elsa.”  
Anna blushed as she flipped through the handbook. “Hey look, a bonfire night. I wonder if there will be s’mores.”  
“How old are you?” Danielle asked.  
Even though Elsa had just been wondering the same thing she was annoyed with the heavy set woman’s tone of voice.  
“Twenty-eight.” Anna replied. The women made their beds and unpacked in silence for a few minutes.  
“So, I think we should establish a few ground rules.” Danielle announced.  
“Like what?”  
“Well, I need my beauty sleep, so lights off at nine. And i’m a christian woman, so no profanity. And I assume we’re all straight here…”  
“Wait, what?” Anna chimed in.  
“You all look like nice heterosexual women but if you weren’t maybe we would need some rules about bathroom usage.”  
“Well, uhm, I actually consider myself bisexual. Is that a problem?”  
“I think it would be best if you would refrain from using the bathroom when the rest of us are in there showering or changing.”  
Sheryl was staring at the floor, clearly not sure what to do. Elsa flushed with anger. “Speak for yourself. I have no problem with Anna using the restroom whenever she wants. I don’t think she would want to catch a glimpse of your naked body anyway, it might turn her off women altogether.”  
Danielle didn't’ say a word, just walked out of the cabin, slamming the door behind her.

“Not one to hold back, are you blondie?” Sheryl chuckled.  
“Actually, I usually do. I don’t know what came over me, that woman just rubbed me the wrong way.”  
“For the record, I don’t care about her stupid rules either. I just want to get along with everyone.” Sheryl said.  
“Thanks guys.” Anna said. “I guess we should head to dinner.”

Elsa found herself seated at a large table with Anna, Sheryl and the two men that had been at the table next to them that afternoon. Hans seemed familiar to her but she couldn’t place why. She did notice that both men were enthralled with her red-haired partner.  
“So, Kristoff,” Anna asked, “What brings you here?”  
“I’m a counselor for a boys group home. I don’t have a degree or anything but I love working with the kids, even if it is hard sometimes. I grew up in foster care and most of the kids who pass through the group home will as well. I just want to be able to help them.”  
“Awww, that’s so sweet, Anna cooed.  
“When I was at Harvard, we had a guest speaker from one of those places once. Very informative.” Hans spoke up.  
“You went to Harvard?” Anna turned her attention to the red-haired man. That's where I know him from, Elsa thought.  
“For medical school. Everyone in my family goes to Harvard. My father owns West Medical Center outside of Boston. My brothers all work there. I’m taking over as head of pediatric psychiatry.”  
“That’s so great. Why did you take that as your speciality?”  
“I have twelve older brothers, it’s all that was left.” The tabler erupted in laughter.  
“What about you Anna?” Kristoff attempted to regain the woman’s attention.  
“Well, I’m an only child. Adopted actually. I’ve been with my family since I was two so they are all I can remember. I decided to major in social work because I wanted to help give other kids a happy ending. What about you Elsa?”  
“The same as all of you. I came here hoping to learn from the experts. I have been studying the Broward-Trapper approach for years but I’m eager to see what the authors themselves have to say.”  
“What did you do after graduation?”  
“I opened a private practice not far from here with two of my classmates.”  
“Wait, did you go to Harvard too?” Anna asked.  
“Anna, meet Dr. Elsa Winter, top of her class at Harvard Medical School. I believe you also have a Master’s in sociology correct?” Hans said with a flourish.  
“A Ph.D. actually.”  
“You have a Phd. and an MD?” Sheryl asked. “How old are you?”  
“Thirty.” The table went silent for a few moments.  
“So, do you two know each other?” Anna asked.  
“Elsa was a couple of years ahead of me, but everyone knew the ice queen.”  
“The ice queen?”  
“Just a stupid nickname.” Elsa said quickly. 

Back in the cabin Elsa settled into bed with a book.  
“Would any of you ladies like to join me for a bible study?” Danielle asked. “I’m meeting my husband back in the cafeteria shortly.”  
“No thanks, some people are playing board games in the lounge.” Sheryl replied.  
“Hans asked me to take a walk with him.” Anna mentioned.  
“Handsome and rich.”  
No one asked Elsa what her plans were and that was just as well since she had no intention of leaving the comfort of her bunk. 

The Journal of Elsa Winter:  
I can’t believe I actually came here. I should have known it was going to be a disaster. The last thing I want is to actually open up to and bond with a stranger. Trust? Yeah right. And of course one of the West brother’s is here. Less than twenty four hours and he’s telling everyone about that stupid ice queen thing. I will admit my partner doesn’t seem too bad. She’s definitely nice, although her taste in men is questionable. Hans. Ugh. That Kristoff kid seems way better. What do I know though? I don’t know what came over me with Danielle either. I never say stuff like that. I insulted her weight! What kind of woman does that to another woman? I should probably apologize. I was angry though, about how she was treating Anna. I never jump to anyone’s defense like that though. Except Lauren and Dean but it took me two years to even go out for coffee with them! This is why you conceal your feelings Elsa. 

Anna’s Journal:  
I’m so excited to be here! I can’t believe I’m actually here in this beautiful place, training with the foremost experts in the field. I can’t wait to tell Mom and Dad. This is going to be so much fun! I am a little worried about my partner Elsa though. At first it seemed like she didn’t like me very much but then she came to my defense when that homophobic bitch freaked out about the bathroom. I thought maybe she’s into girls too, but she didn’t say one way or the other. God she’s hot though. I’ve never seen eyes like that in my life. But anyway, Hans asked me for a walk! Talk about handsome! Not as attractive as Elsa, but hey, you take what you can get. And he seems so charming too. I can’t wait for tomorrow!


	2. Touch

Elsa didn’t see her partner again until they arrived back in the classroom the next morning. The red-head yawned and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry I had a late night.”   
“Yeah, I could tell.”   
“I’m sorry. I tried not to wake you when I came in. Hans and I stayed up late talking. And then of course I overslept.”   
“It’s fine.”

“Good Morning guys!” Oaken saved Elsa from participating in any more small talk. “This mornings agenda consists primarily of classes, and a power-point or two.”  
“Ugh, I’m gonna need caffeine for this.” Anna groaned.   
“Of course, there is a catch.” Kai said. “I would like for each of you to take hold of your partner's hand. Go on now.” Esla saw the groups around her nervously take each other’s hands. Anna grabbed her own without hesitation. 

“God Elsa, your hand is freezing.”  
“Sorry.” That explains why yours feels so warm though.  
“Now, I realize this may be uncomfortable for many of you. I have just asked you to initiate touch with a virtual stranger, in a way that probably feels somewhat intimate. After all, not many of us hold hands with anyone besides a significant other, or very young child. Be assured, there is a method to my madness. I want you to remember to chronicle what you are thinking and feeling throughout this experience in your journals.”  
“Excuse me, sir, how long are we supposed to hold hands?” A man in the front of the room asked.  
“Oh, the rest of the day. Of course if you need to use the restroom or write something down feel free. Now, I present our first class: Understanding the Effects of Trauma on the Brain.”

It took Elsa until halfway through the lesson to even begin to relax. Anna seemed to have no trouble however. Halfway to lunch Elsa broke the connection to write a few notes in her journal. She noticed Anna took the opportunity to do the same. When she finished she rested her hand on top of the table. Anna finished up and covered her hand with her own. The two remained in that position until lunch, with Anna occasionally rubbing her thumb lightly over Elsa’s wrist. As they headed to the cafeteria Elsa realized it felt weird not holding Anna’s hand. 

After lunch they began the next lecture on the effects of early childhood trauma on development. Elsa was almost glad Kai instructed them to join hands again. After an hour Gerda announced they would be having a class discussion on what they had covered that day. “However, I would like for one person from each table to exchange places with one person from a nearby table. Elsa suddenly found herself seated next to a plain looking man who had traded seats with Anna. “Once again please hold the hand of the person next to you.” The next hour was the longest of Elsa’s life. Her skin crawled at the feelings of the man’s hand in hers and it was all she could do not to pull away. 

Once the hour was up the partners switched back and Elsa breathed a sigh of relief. “Now, I’m sure you are all wondering what this has been about.” Gerda said. “As you write in your journal tonight I want you to think about the struggles children face as they are expected to interact with new and ever-changing caregivers. Children are routinely taken from the only family they have known, and sent to live with strangers. And because they are children they may be expected to allow themselves to be touched by people they don’t even know. Hugs, cuddling, bath time, diaper changes. We as adults invade their personal space on a daily basis. And just when they become familiar, comfortable even with their caregivers, we often rip them away again and give them a new set. Now, once again, take your partners hand. How does it feel different than this morning? How is it different than your temporary partner experience? Please think about these things as you fill out your journals tonight. Now, in the hour before dinner you’re going to talk to your partner, get to know them better. I want you to keep a list of things you learn about them.”

Elsa was happy to feel Anna’s slim hand in her own. “So, tell me about your life.” Anna said. “Do you have siblings, pets, a significant other?”  
“No. It’s just me. I grew up with just my mom and she passed away a few years ago. I guess I’m one of those boring people who live to work. I don’t even have any plants.”   
“Tell me about your mom.”  
“Hey, that’s my line. But really, there isn’t much to tell. She was just an ordinary person.”  
“Is she where you get your amazing hair from?”  
“Amazing? I don’t know about that. No, she had blonde hair, but not like mine.”  
“Your hair is gorgeous. I’ve never seen quite that shade of blonde before.”  
“Oh please, do you know how many women would kill to be natural red-heads?”  
“Yeah, but the hair comes with the freckles.”  
“Hans doesn’t seem to mind.” Anna blushed so Elsa changed the subject. “You mentioned you’re adopted?”  
“Yes. My parents are amazing. I always did wish I had a sister to play with though.”  
“I…”  
“What?”  
“Nevermind. Nothing, I forgot what I was going to say. You never wanted to meet your bio family?”  
“Not really. I did sign up for one of those DNA sites. All I learned is that I have scandinavian heritage, I wasn’t matched with any family. So, lighter subject, what’s your favorite movie? Wait, let me guess. Citizen Kane.”  
“No.”  
“Too old? Finding Neverland?”  
“No.”  
“The Pianist?”  
“God no. Clearly you will never guess it. It’s The Goonies.” Anna just started at her.   
“You’re right. I would not have guessed that. Guess mine?”  
Elsa smirked. “The Princess Bride.”  
“That’s a really good guess. It's actually Tangled.”

Elsa and Anna were halfway to dinner when they heard snickering behind them. “What's so funny?” Anna asked, turning around.  
“You two are still holding hands.” Hans chortled.   
Elsa glanced down at their hands which were in fact still joined, fingers interlaced. She quickly dropped Anna’s hand.   
“Yeah, laugh it up guys, very funny.” Anna retorted.

After dinner Elsa was once again in bed, this time with her journal. Anna had changed into tight jeans and a tank top.   
“Going for another walk with Hans?” Sheryl asked.  
“Yes. I think I really like him.”   
Elsa tried to ignore the conversation, unsure why she disliked the idea of Anna hanging out with the man. Probably because I know he’s a giant douchebag, just like his brothers, she thought. 

From the Journal of Elsa Winter:   
Well, here we go. First full day and I’m way out of my league. I don’t hold hands. With anyone. I really didn’t see the point of any of it, until the end. What Gerda said really made sense. I had never thought about it that way. Maybe because I never expect or initiate any physical contact with the kids I work with. But lots of people do I guess. Foster parents, or whatever. I will admit that holding Anna’s hand wasn’t terrible. By the end it was almost normal. Well, of course, I walked out of the room like that! I’ve never been so embarrassed. And that poor man. I don't remember his name but ugh I hated holding his hand. If you had asked me yesterday that’s what I would have said holding anyone's hand would be like. I don’t know what it is about her, I just feel more comfortable with her for some reason. Obviously she thinks i’m really boring though. Citizen Kane? 

Anna’s journal:   
Another awesome day! The walk last night with Hans was amazing. We have so much in common, by the end we were even finishing each other's sentences. And then the class, I could tell Elsa was uncomfortable at first but I think she really relaxed by the end. I was kind of nervous though, I mean she’s so pretty. And holding that other woman’s hand definitely wasn’t the same. What Gerda said made so much sense though, I mean, gosh. I hug every kid I come across even though it’s not exactly professional. It never even occurred to me they might not want a hug! And good job Anna for pretty much hitting on your partner. Amazing hair? Really? At least I didn’t mention her eyes. And she totally guessed my favorite movie. I had to tell a slight lie. Am i that much of an open book? Note to self: She doesn’t like to talk about her mother. She shut that down quick. Another evening with Hans tonight. It’s worth it even if i don’t get any sleep.


	3. Group Project

The next morning at breakfast Sheryl asked Anna how her date was. Elsa glanced around and realized Hans was nowhere to be seen, which seemed odd.   
“It wasn’t a date. And I’m not sure. Hans is very charming but he keeps saying some really mean stuff about his partner, Kristoff. Really putting him down for not having a college degree, calling him a hillbilly, stuff like that.”  
“Well, you know how men can be when they feel like there is competition.”  
“Competition?”  
“Yeah. It’s obvious they both have a crush on you.”   
“Really? Elsa, do you think that’s true?”  
Elsa really didn’t want to be in the middle of this conversation but she shrugged. “Seemed obvious to me too. I figured you knew.”  
“Hmmm.” Anna seemed lost in thought. 

“Good morning everyone.” Oaken was his usual cheery self. “Today we will begin by watching a film. I would like everyone to move into the lounge and choose a seat with your partner.” The usual lounge furniture had been cleared out and replaced with sixteen...chairs, Elsa decided. They were definitely too small to be called loveseats. Large chairs.   
“You want both of us to sit on this?” A tiny man with a large mustache asked.  
“Yes. We had these made especially for this course. They are designed for two average size people to sit side by side comfortably, albeit with no room left in between.” Kai replied.   
“Well that’s impossible. Holding hands was bad enough but I can’t share this chair with another man.”   
“That’s Danielle's husband.” Anna whispered.  
“Mr. Weaselton, you are a foster parent correct?”  
“That's right. Fifteen years now.”  
“So then you are aware that many children in foster care are virtually grown men? If not in mind, certainly in body?”  
“Of course.”  
“Wouldn’t you agree that those children are just as deserving of affection and comfort as any other?”  
That seemed to settle the issue, no matter how uncomfortable everyone was, no one spoke up for fear of looking like an uncaring monster. Elsa sat down as close to one side of the chair as she could. Anna immediately sat next to her. Since they were both slender women they had much more room to spare than most groups. Elsa noticed Hans was having a hard time angling his upper body away from Kristoff’s massive shoulders. By the end of the film Elsa had relaxed and Anna was leaning into her shoulder. Everyone else still looked very uncomfortable, sitting stiffly upright trying not to touch each other. 

Once lunch was over she was confronted by Danielle. “You know, if she’s making you uncomfortable you should say something.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I saw you today, during the movie. She was all over you and she had plenty of room. You don’t have to put up with that. I get what they’re trying to do here but the truth is we aren’t children, we’re all adults and this kind of behavior with a stranger is weird.”  
“She wasn’t all over me. And I don’t have a problem. You should just mind your own business.”   
“I tried to switch cabins, with a woman from cabin four. Mulan. I even asked her about switching with me. She's a lesbian too, as if you couldn’t tell by looking at her. Oaken won’t let me. It’s like they want me to be uncomfortable.”   
“I’m sorry to hear that, really. Just leave her alone Danielle.”  
Anna approached as Danielle stormed off. “What was that about?”  
“Just more of her nonsense. She tried to switch cabins with some other lesbian. Mulan or something? They won’t let her. Oh, and she’s convinced you’re trying to make a move on me.”  
“Oh god, I’m so sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?”  
“No. Well, to be honest, everyone kind of makes me uncomfortable. I’m not much of a people person. I’m trying to work on it though.”   
“Okay. Please let me know if I ever cross any boundaries though. I know I can be a bit much sometimes.” 

They entered the classroom to find various construction and craft materials laid out in the front of the room.   
“This afternoon I wanted to work on one of my favorite activities that we do with the kids here at Camp Arendelle. You and your partner will team up with another group and the four of you will design and construct a birdhouse. You have until four to complete it, so you’ll have to work together to finish on time. We will judge the most creative design at the end of the day.”  
Hans immediately looked to Anna, eyebrows raised. Anna glanced at Elsa, who shrugged. The two pairs pushed their tables together.   
“Okay, first we need a design.” Hans quickly took charge.  
“Nothing too complicated. How about just a miniature house, like for humans, but smaller.” Anna suggested.   
“Aww, thats cute.” Hans said.   
“That shouldn’t be too hard. I’ve got some construction experience.” Kristoff said. “I’ll be glad to cut and measure.”   
“Anna, how about you glue the pieces together then?”  
“Sure, I can do that.”   
“Elsa?”  
“Uhmm. I can paint.”   
“Perfect.”  
“What about you Hans?”   
“Supervisor of course. Every group needs one.” Elsa rolled her eyes but no one else commented.   
“I’ll grab supplies.” Kristoff stood.   
“I’ll give you a hand.” Elsa followed the blonde, gladly carrying the piles of wood, glue, paint and various other items he piled into her arms. When they returned to their table Hans spoke up.  
“I was just asking Anna how she was getting along with the infamous ice queen. That was her nickname at Harvard.”   
“Why did they call you that?” Anna asked.  
When Elsa didn’t answer Hans kept going. “Isn’t it obvious? Because she’s so cold to everyone. And the queen part because she thinks she’s better than everyone else.” 

Elsa wanted to sink through the floor and escape. Instead she grabbed some of the scraps that Kristoff was casting away and starting painting them. No one was really paying attention to her. Anna helped Kristoff with the construction and Hans scrolled through his phone. After an hour Anna passed her a simple house shaped structure. Elsa studied it and asked Kristoff about a few extra pieces. While he got to work making the items she requested she started painting the basic structure dark green. She had just finished when Hans and Anna looked up from their conversation.   
“Uhm, Elsa, I thought we were making a traditional house? Why are you painting it green? I kind of thought it would be red.” Anna asked.   
“Don’t mind her, she isn’t very familiar with real houses. We should have made it easy for her and made a single wide instead.”  
Elsa felt her face heat up but she didn’t stop her work.   
“Hans, you’re an asshole.” Anna said.   
The four sat in silence, Kristoff passing Elsa pieces as he finished them and Elsa glued them on. She then began working with the scraps she had painted earlier, transforming them with an exacto knife.   
A few minutes before four she was finished. She turned the birdhouse around and Anna gasped. Elsa had added a second story, gables,a balcony,front porch, and detailed lattice work.   
“It’s a victorian.” Anna gushed.  
“Turns out I’ve learned all about houses since graduating Hans. How about that?” 

Elsa helped everyone clean up as Kristoff took their creation down to the front of the room for judging. I wonder if Lauren and Dean will be angry if I just leave now and go back? Probably.  
Most groups hadn’t managed to be that creative. There was a church, a rocket ship, and something that vaguely resembled a boat. Elsa’s creation easily won, not that she cared. Kristoff brought the house back up and gave it to Elsa. “You did the most work on it.” 

After a class discussion about the activity and how the summer camp used it every year to help the kids form a bond and learn to work together, it was time for dinner.   
“You have a homework assignment, everyone. I want everyone to learn five more things about their partner. It’s time to really start building that trust we talked about the first day. Now, everyone give their partner a quick hug and let’s go eat.” 

No one actually moved at first. “I said, give your partner a hug. Don’t you guys like hugs?” Kai was incredulous.   
As most people attempted very awkward, one-armed hugs, Anna flung her arms around   
Elsa. “I love the birdhouse.”   
Elsa smiled. “I made it for you.”   
“For me? Why?”  
“Well,I Iive in a condo. I don’t really have any trees. Something tells me you do, though. And this just seemed like the kind of house you’d like to live in.”   
“You’re right. On both counts. And green is my favorite color, how did you know?”  
“Lucky guess.”

As soon as dinner was over Anna grabbed Elsa’s arm. “Come for a walk with me?”  
“What no Hans today?”  
“No. Never again. Not after what he did today.”  
“I had forgotten about that stupid nickname. I earned it though. I can be like that. Cold and impersonal. I don't mean to be but it just happens.”  
“I don’t think you’re like that at all.”  
“Really? Everyone else does. Even my two best friends, Lauren and Dean. We opened a children’s psychiatric center together last year. Snow Valley Children's Center. I had always been more into the research side of things but they talked me into it. I’m not very good at it though. I can’t seem to relate to people the way I need to. Anyway, they pretty much insisted I come here.”   
“I’m glad you came. And I’m glad you’re my partner. I feel comfortable with you, like I’ve known you for a lot longer than two days.”  
“I feel the same way actually. It’s kind of odd for me. So, what kind of social worker are you?”  
“I work for social services. I investigate cases of abuse and neglect.”   
“That must suck. I can’t imagine. Just seeing the effects after the fact is bad enough.”  
“It is. I just tell myself it’s important and someone has to do it.”  
“You’re right. It is important.”  
“So, five new things about each other. You know my favorite color is green. What’s yours?”  
“Blue. Where are you from?”  
“Virgina. My dad works in D.C. You?”  
“North Carolina. A small town I guarantee you’ve never heard of. I did my undergrad at Duke.”  
“Impressive. So are you like a genius then?”  
“Nah. I just wanted to do something good with my life but at the same time not be poor again either.”  
“That makes sense. Do you live around here now?”  
“Yes. Our clinic is in downtown Arendelle. Lauren wanted to stay in Boston but the market is saturated. We talked her into moving to New Hampshire and she picked Arendelle. What about you?”  
“I worked as a school social worker for a couple of years after undergrad. When I wanted to go back for my M.A. Arendelle U accepted me right away. I just graduated in December and started working for the county. I really love the town so I’m glad I got to stay.”  
“Ok. Favorite TV show?”  
“Game of Thrones.”   
“I haven’t watched the show, but I did read all the books.”  
“Really? You read the books?”  
“Yes. What, you think I’m too snobbish for that?”  
“No! I”m not like Hans, I don’t think that at all, I swear.”   
“I know. I’m just teasing you. I’m sorry he turned out to be a jerk. I didn’t really know him at school but his brother Kurt was in my year and he was exactly the same.”   
“Its ok. I found out quickly enough, so no time wasted. On to better things. Or people. Whatever. So, what are you afraid of?”  
“You’re getting deep with that one. Failure. And not being in control.”   
“So I take it you don’t drink then.”  
“Not really. Socially, sure, but I never get drunk.”   
“Fair enough. I have this thing about being afraid to disappoint people. Oh, and running out of chocolate.”   
The women arrived back at their cabin. Anna pulled the blonde in for another hug. “You’re not an ice queen at all Elsa.”

From the Journal of Elsa Winter;  
I would consider today a good day, if not a little unnerving. The movie wasn’t bad, although it is alarming how quickly I’m comfortable with Anna’s physical presence. I guess we did have more room than some people but watching the reactions of others is fascinating. For a group of people who are supposed to be compassionate, caring, bleeding hearts we sure are uptight, myself included. Except Anna of course. Once again I found myself defending her to that bitch. The birdhouse project was actually kind of cool. I think i might try it out in our group therapy sessions. It’s easier to talk when you’re focused on something else. Of course, thanks to Hans, we didn’t do much talking. I don’t even care about his rude comments though because Anna can’t stand him now. Kristoff seems really cool though, I wonder if she’ll go out with him next. Or take a walk, whatever. I’ve now been hugged twice in one day, which is twice more than...graduation day? Maybe. I think Lauren hugged me then. 

Anna’s Journal:  
God I’m an idiot. I fall for the biggest jerk in the group. I can’t believe how easily I’m swayed by a pretty face. I can’t believe he would be so cruel to someone he doesn’t even really know. It’s none of his business if she grew up poor. Clearly she’s successful now. And better looking than even Hans. If I had thought for one moment that I even had a chance with her I wouldn’t have given that sideburned creep a second glance. I don’t remember what that movie was about but damn, I’ll watch a movie with her whenever I get the chance. She even smells fantastic. I think my heart skipped three beats when she defended me to that horrible woman today. Speaking of which, I guess she told that Mulan girl about me because a woman with short black hair wearing flannel came up to me today and hit on me. Unfortunately, not my type. The best part of the day though was hugging Elsa. She seems a little uncomfortable with it, but damn is she huggable.


	4. Anger

Elsa awoke to dramatic yelling from Danielle. “This is ridiculous. We never should have come here. This was supposed to be a professional course taught by experts!”  
“What’s she upset about?” Elsa asked a sleepy Anna.  
“She looked at the itinerary and learned that today’s morning session is focusing on LGBT youth.”  
“Oh.”  
Sheryl tried to end the tirade. “Danielle, I don’t understand the problem. I know you’re a christian, and so am I, but the reality is that some teens are gay or bi. Or transgendered. Our job as professionals is to treat them with respect and help them.”   
“My job as a foster parent is to help them see the errors of their lifestyle.”  
“So you mean if you had a gay kid in your home you would teach them that they should become straight?” Anna asked.   
“Of course.”   
“People like you shouldn’t be parents at all.” Anna spat.   
“Perverts like you shouldn’t be allowed to work with children.” Danielle answered. “Poor Hans, you broke that nice young man’s heart. He said you prefer her over him, and he just couldn’t compete.” Danielle glared at Elsa before exiting the cabin.   
“I’m really sorry guys. I’m going to grab a shower.” Sheryl headed to the bathroom.   
“What is she apologizing for?”  
“I think it was meant to be a blanket apology on behalf of heterosexual people, to us homo’s. Not that i’m saying you’re, you know. You never said one way or another but since you defended me and all, and it looks like Hans has been spreading rumors…”  
“Oh, gay by association then?”  
“Something like that. Sorry.”  
“Its fine. I...I don’t date at all. It’s kind of complicated but I’m not big on touching people, or connecting with people so I just avoid it altogether.”  
“You don’t have to explain your sexuality to me. Or non-sexuality. Whatever.”   
“I know. I just wanted to say I’m not offended or anything. I’m flattered that people think I could take you away from Hans.”   
“You totally could have.” Anna turned bright red. “Shit I did not mean to say that out loud. Uhmm. So these activities must really be torture for you if you don’t like being touched. And I’m the worst! Why didn’t you say something?”  
“I’m really trying to work on it remember? I need to get better. Not that I need to touch people much in my line of work, but I have to be able to work with people,to let people in or whatever. It hasn't been that bad really. I mean, if my partner had been Hans or Danielle I would have quit already.”  
“I’ll take that as a compliment. If it ever gets to be too much let me know.”   
“Thanks. I will, I promise.” 

Elsa spent most of the morning alternately listening and getting caught up on her journal. She noticed that Anna was paying rapt attention to the speaker and taking notes. This topic is probably important to her, Elsa thought. I should pay better attention. Surprisingly, they made it until lunch without any outbursts from Danielle or her husband.   
“She called her pastor this morning and he advised her to just let it go and to pray for everyone” Sheryl informed them.   
“Hans mentioned his family owns one of those conversion camps for gay teens.” Kristoff chimed in. Hans had begun eating his meals with Danielle and her group of friends since Anna was no longer speaking with him.   
“They would.” Elsa glowered.   
“I can’t believe I ever liked him. I have terrible taste in men.”   
“Maybe you just need to try a different type.” Kristoff grinned.   
“Maybe I should stick with women.” Anna shot back.   
Kristoff choked on his water and needed Sheryl to pound him on the back. “Speaking of which, the woman said, a certain lady from cabin four has been asking around about you.”  
“I know.” Anna groaned. “She already approached me.”  
“Really?” Elsa was surprised.   
“Yeah. I guess Danielle told her why she wanted to switch cabins. Mulan was definitely up for it. Oaken shot them down. I’m honestly kind of glad, she came on kind of strong.”   
“So, not your type I take it?” Kristoff jokes.  
“Definitely not.”  
“Okay, so what is your type?”  
Anna turned red. Finally she just shrugged. “Hot I guess. Is that a type?”  
“What about mysterious and alluring?” Sheryl asked.  
“Well, time to go. Come on Elsa, afternoon session starts soon. Anger issues. Sounds exciting.” 

The group was once again led to the lounge to watch a documentary on kids who commit violent crimes. Elsa was intrigued by the subject matter but noticed Anna sitting much more formally than the day before. She’s doing that for me, she realized. Looking around Elsa noticed most of the groups looking slightly more relaxed than previously. She pulled her cell phone out and typed into the memo app: You don’t have to be scared to touch me. I won’t get upset. You look uncomfortable. She silently passed the phone to Anna who read the message and smiled. She shifted a little and relaxed some but didn’t hand the phone back, instead typing her own message. When she finally did give it back Elsa saw it was her phone number. 

After the film they returned to the classroom. The next two hours were spent discussing anger manifestations in attachment disorder and PTSD. Oaken passed out worksheets and instructed them to work with their partners to discuss them. Elsa looked at the first question. What is the angriest you can remember being as a child? She looked around the crowded room. “Why don’t we do this somewhere else?”  
Anna led them to a secluded picnic table. “Do you want me to go first?”  
“Please.”   
“Ok. Well, when I was nine or ten I was really bugging my mom about my biological family. I really wanted more information and she wouldn’t tell me anything. I was so angry at her, I felt like it was my right to know that stuff.”  
“That’s understandable. What did you do?”  
“Well, I was just a kid. I think I slammed a few doors dramatically and yelled at her that she wasn’t my real mom and I hated her. It’s been almost twenty years and I still feel guilty for that.”  
“She knew you didn’t mean it.”  
“I know. She printed out a page from my file, something written by social services, and slid it under my door. It turned out I had been abandoned with some random person and no one ever came to claim me. I was covered in bruises and malnourished. My birth mom never tried to get be back. They didn’t even know my real name. The lady that had me must of agreed to watch me for my mother or something and when she never came back called the police. That was the last time I pulled a stunt like that.”  
Elsa searched for the right thing to say. “I’m really glad you had such wonderful parents.”  
“That’s such a nice thing to say. You're turn.”   
Elsa sighed. She really didn’t want to do this. Of course, she could have lied, made something up, but for some reason she didn’t want to. “Okay, I was seven I think, or eight. My mom, she had a lot of problems. Drugs, alcohol, men, you know. I’m sure you see it every day in your job.”   
Anna nodded. “So, this one night my mom has some men over, they’re drinking and doing whatever. I was in the bedroom, trying to do my homework. One of the men, he stumbled in and he pushed me down on the bed and started to touch me. That kind of thing had happened before but I was so tired of it. I just wanted to do my damn homework. I got so angry, at him, at my mom. But I couldn’t do anything. And that made me even angrier. Later, after he had passed out, I went to the kitchen and got a knife. I wanted to kill him. But I couldn’t, I wasn’t strong enough. I cut myself instead. Anger makes you do funny things I guess.”  
Anna looked away and wiped her eyes. “Did you ever get out? Did social services ever take you away?”  
“No. I guess I slipped through the cracks. I stayed until I was seventeen and then I left for college. Don’t cry for me, please. It was a long time ago and I’m fine now.”   
“I’m not. I’m crying for that little girl that was all alone in North Carolina.”   
“Let’s finish this after dinner.”  
“Okay.”

They ate dinner with with a couple of social workers from Maine and both tried to keep the conversation light. Once they were alone again they picked the heavy topics backup.   
“So, the angriest you have ever been as an adult?”  
“I get angry a lot at work. At the shitty parents I see ruining their kids lives. At the system for not doing enough. Caregivers who don’t report abuse. But I can’t let that anger show. I was pretty pissed at Hans yesterday over the birdhouse. How can someone who is supposed to be learning how to care for fragile children be so cruel?”  
“I don’t think Hans cares about kids at all. He just picked a speciality no one is his family had yet.”   
“Well, I told him I never wanted to speak to him again unless absolutely necessary. And that the next time he insulted you I would bust his lip.”   
“Remind me never to get on your bad side. I’m not sure the angriest I’ve been as an adult but I was pretty angry with Danielle this morning, and that first day. The way she treated you, I was so angry when I didn't even really know you. But this morning? I was livid.”  
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”  
“I try not to let my emotions show.”  
“Why?”  
“It makes you vulnerable. It’s not that I don’t have emotions. I just don’t like other people to see. It makes you weak.”   
“So, if I asked you what you were feeling right now you wouldn’t tell me?”   
“No.”   
“Fair enough. Ready for bed? We don’t want to stay out after curfew.”  
“Aren’t we supposed to end these sessions with a hug?”  
“We don’t have to. No one will know.”  
The women made their way back to their cabin. As they approached the door Elsa stopped. “Anna?”  
“Yes?”  
“Thank you.” Elsa reached out and initiated a hug for the first time in her adult life. Anna hugged her back like her life depended on it.   
“What are you thanking me for?”  
“Everything?”

From the Journal of Elsa Winter:   
Anger is something I have always understood. If I were to go to a psychologist no doubt I would be diagnosed with my own hosts of issues. I work everyday to prevent children from letting their past destroy their futures, but what have I done? Isn’t it the same? I’m thirty years old and I’ve never been in love, never even dated seriously. No one was there to help me. If I could have been different though, I hope I would have met someone like Anna. 

Anna’s Journal:  
I certainly am popular. Hans, Kristoff, Mulan. Of course, I want the one who isn’t attracted to me. Or anyone for that matter. Although at least I don’t have to watch her flirt with anyone else. I can tell she’s trying really hard, that message on her phone was adorable. It took everything within me to not just cuddle up to her. Her childhood sounds terrible. It's so unfair that I was adopted by wonderful people and she just stayed in hell her entire life. When she hugged me tonight I almost died. I really want to be her friend. At the very least.


	5. Trust

The focus of the following day was trust. At the start of the day Kai announced they would be taking a field trip of sorts.   
“We are all going to take a bus to a local animal sanctuary. We will be discussing the importance of animals in treating certain psychological disorders. You will also have a chance to handle some of the animals if you want. Of course, there is a catch. Elsa eyed the professor warily. “One of each partnership will be making the journey while blindfolded.”   
Oh, fuck no. Elsa thought. “The other partner will act as their guide. The bus leaves in one hour so prepare yourselves and discuss which one of you will take on what role.”  
“I can’t.” Elsa said immediately.   
“That’s fine. I’ll wear the blindfold as long as you promise not to walk me into a pile of cow shit.”  
“Deal.”

Once everyone was ready for the days excursion they met back in the parking lot. Gerda and Oaken placed blindfolds on half the class and they began boarding the bus. Elsa kept one hand on Anna’s shoulder and gave her detailed instructions until she was safely sitting on a bench seat mid-way back. Most participants were able to board the bus without incident, although Hans let Kristoff trip twice and Danielle sat in an already occupied seat, causing the person she sat on to let out a string of curse words. 

“Can you really not see anything?” Elsa asked.   
“Not a damn thing. These are some bondage level blindfolds.” Elsa was glad Anna couldn’t see her blush. The ride to the animal sanctuary took half an hour and then Elsa was guiding Anna off the bus and into an outdoor amphitheater. For the next hour the staff discussed the work they did with the animals and the kids that would come to visit. A retired army sergeant talked about the benefits of emotional support dogs, and two former teen felons spoke about the animal training program that gave meaning to their life while they were in jail. Eventually they brought out some of the animals. 

“These are all rescues that participate in our programs. Please feel free to interact with them if you wish. Each animal has its own handler to answer any questions.”   
“Is there anything you don’t want to touch?” Elsa asked.   
“No spiders please.”   
Elsa surveyed the available animals. Spying an incredibly cute kitten she guided Anna over.   
“Hold out your hands.” When Anna had complied she set the kitty in her arms.   
“Awww a kitten,” Anna gushed, petting it. “What’s it name?”  
“Huey.” The kitten handler replied. “He’s twelve weeks old. One of our staff found him living in a dumpster a few weeks ago.” Anna held the kitten to to her face where it licked her nose and purred. “What does it look like Elsa?”  
“Like a tiny penguin.”  
After Anna had squealed over a bunny, a duck, and an iguana the sanctuary director got their attention.   
“Everyone please make use of our restrooms. In ten minutes we will be taking the wagons down to the horse barn where you will learn about our therapeutic riding program.”   
Elsa and Anna waited in line at the restroom. Elsa guided Anna into a stall and then called out to her “I don’t have to go so I’m going to see if I can find us some water ok? Just stay put in here until I get back.”   
“Sure.”   
Elsa left the women’s room and hunted down a staff member. “Do you have a vending machine or anything?”  
“There is a cooler of water over by those trees.”  
“Thanks.” Elsa jogged over and grabbed two bottles. As she approached the restroom door she heard Anna scream. When she flung the door open she saw Hans had Anna pushed against the wall, one hand holding both of her hands above her head. Elsa grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him off.   
“What the fuck are you doing?”  
The bathroom had quickly filled up with other people who had heard the screaming.   
“What’s going on in here?” Oaken bellowed.   
“I went to get some water and Hans came in here and shoved her into the wall.” Elsa replied.   
“That’s not true. I heard Anna scream and rushed in here to find Elsa assaulting her!”  
“You disgusting liar.”  
“How dare you call me a liar.”  
“It was Hans.” Anna cried.   
“How are you sure?” Kai asked gently. “Did he say anything to you?”  
“No. He didn’t speak but I know it was him.”  
Kai sighed. Everyone please leave. Gerda and I need to speak to Anna for a moment. When everyone was gone Gerda asked gently: “Anna are you positive it was Hans? It could have been either of them.”  
“It was him. I don’t believe it was Elsa.”  
“Okay. I will speak with Hans. Without proof I don’t know what we can do. Do you want a new partner, just in case?”   
“No. Please, send Elsa here.”   
“Very well.” 

Kai and Gerda left Anna alone and motioned for Elsa to step back in.   
“Anna, I’m so sorry.” Elsa apologized. “I never should have left you alone.”  
“It’s not your fault. Who would have thought we would need to worry about being assaulted at a professional conference like this?”   
“Anna, you do believe it wasn’t me right? I would never.”  
Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa’s waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. To her surprise she felt Elsa hold her in return.   
“Of course. I never thought it was you. Besides, if you wanted to shove me into a wall and kiss me all you had to do was ask.”   
Elsa had no idea how to reply to that so she began to guide her friend outside.   
“Ok. These wagons are like the hayride kind and they've made a staircase out of hay to get in. We’re the last ones to get in so it’s kind of crowded but I’ll help you. Hans isn’t in this wagon.” Elsa explained. She got Anna up the hay bales and looked for a place to sit. She guided Anna into a corner and then sat beside her.   
“Elsa?” Anna sounded worried.   
“I’m right here.” Elsa placed a hand on Anna’s leg.   
“Ok just checking. I know touch isn’t your thing but I need you to stay close.”   
Elsa wrapped her arm around Anna’s waist. “It’s ok. I’m pretty much okay with touching you by now. You’ve somehow infiltrated my defenses.”   
Anna smiled. “I’m sorry if I was out of line back there. What I said about being ok with you pushing me into the wall. I’m not that great at hiding how I feel.”  
“It’s ok. I was just a little surprised.”   
“Surprised? You have no idea how hot you are do you? Shit. I shouldn’t have said that either. I’m going to stop talking now.”   
They pulled up to the horse barn in time for Elsa to avoid answering. After learning about the center’s horseback riding program and meeting some of the horses it was time to climb back into the wagons. Anna once again sat in a corner with Elsa using her body as a protective shield. Finally, it was time to board the buses back to camp.   
“It will be dinner time when we get back, and time to remove the blindfolds. I’m sure you all have much to write about in your journals and we will be discussing today’s events in class tomorrow.” Kai said.   
“I can’t believe how nice it is to be able to see again.” Anna said on the way to dinner.  
“I’m so sorry I was a terrible partner. I left you alone and you were assaulted. I feel horrible.”   
“Elsa, really, it's fine. It wasn’t your fault. Please don’t be upset.”   
They entered the cafeteria to see Hans sitting with Danielle and her husband and took their customary spots at Kristoffs table.   
“I can’t believe they are letting Hans stay.” Anna grumbled.   
“He told me that his father made a very generous grant to fund this project.” Kristoff said.   
“He has been buying his son’s way into Harvard for years.” Elsa remarked.   
“Anna, I’m so sorry he did that to you. I should have known he was up to no good when he left me alone.” Kristoff frowned.   
“It’s no ones fault but his. I don’t know what he thought he was going to accomplish anyway.”   
“Just so you know, he’s been telling everyone it wasn’t him.”   
“Well who else could it have been?”   
Kristoff just looked at the two women.   
“That’s ridiculous. Anyway, I would know. Why does everyone think that because I had a blindfold on I don’t know the difference between Hans and Elsa?”  
“How do you know? I completely believe it was him, I’m just curious how you’re so sure.”  
“Because the person that shoved me into that wall and pressed against me didn’t smell like Elsa.”  
“Uhmm. Ok. That’s kind of weird.”  
“What? You don’t know what your partners smell like?”  
“No. Not really.” Sheryl spoke up.   
“Like cologne I guess, but I couldn’t tell you what kind. What does Elsa smell like?”   
“Pine, and fresh snow and green apples.”   
“No offense Anna but that is kind of odd.”   
Sheryl leaned over closer to Elsa. “I don’t know what snow is supposed to smell like but I’ll agree on the apples and pine.”   
Elsa pulled out her phone and sent her partner a text “I don’t think you’re weird. I know how you smell too. Like oranges, cloves, and sunshine.”  
“You are too perfect sometimes. Thank you for protecting me, even though I accidentally hit on you twice today.”  
“It was my job to protect you. And you know I do get hit on occasionally and usually it's annoying and I shut it down right away but coming from you it just feels flattering.”  
“How so?”  
“You’re an amazing person. I’ve opened up to you more in the last few days than anyone in the last five years. You’re incredibly kind and warm. You’re beautiful.”   
“Wow. If I didn’t know you aren’t attracted to people I’d think you have a crush on me.”   
Elsa typed out her response but hesitated before she hit send. “Is it possible to have a non-sexual crush?” 

Anna didn’t respond before dinner was over and the two made their way back to the cabin. Elsa climbed into bed and grabbed her journal. 

From the journal of Elsa Winter:   
Today was exhausting. I feel like the worst person in the world right now. I left someone I care about alone and vulnerable and they came close to being sexually assaulted. I would feel terrible about this even if it was someone I didn’t like that much, and I do like Anna. As a person. A friend I guess. Shit, I don’t know how I feel about her. She’s really cute, really attractive I mean. She could have anyone here she wants and she keeps flirting with me! And I like it. I’ve never liked anyone flirting with me before. It all makes me feel worse about what happened today. Why couldn’t I have taken care of her? Maybe I shouldn't be a psychiatrist. I shouldn't be responsible for people's emotions. How is she not mad at me? I need to make it up to her someway.

Anna’s journal:   
Well, I’m an idiot. I hit on Elsa twice today. Can’t I do anything right? She was really nice about it but now she definitely knows I’m attracted to her. Ugh, who am i kidding, I totally have a huge crush on her. I don’t want to fuck this up, I think we could actually be good friends. If I can manage not to scare her away. Fucking Hans. Why is my taste in men so bad? And Elsa feels terrible but seriously who would even think of something like that happening in this situation. It infuriates me that anyone could even think it was Elsa. Or that I can’t tell the difference. If it had been Elsa I would have known. And I definitely wouldn’t have screamed, at least not like that. Get it together Anna, you can’t go around acting like a horny teenager.


	6. Flirting

Elsa awoke to a message from Anna. “You can have whatever kind of crush you want.”   
She smiled as she got out of bed and headed for the shower. When she was finished in the bathroom she found Anna waiting to go in.   
“Did you check the itinerary for the day?” Elsa asked.  
“Yeah. All it says is volunteer day. I don’t know what that means. Tomorrow we leave on that two day hiking and camping thing.”   
“Right. I’ve never been camping before.”  
“Somehow that does not surprise me.”  
“I’m going to assume you have?”  
“Of course. I’m going to take a quick shower, don’t leave without me.” 

Once they were seated in the classroom Kai let them know exactly what the day would entail.   
“We’re going to be spending the day volunteering with an organization that builds homes for low-income families. I love encouraging kids to give back to their communities, it instills a sense of pride and accomplishment and is a good reminder that no matter how challenging life is for them, others are struggling as well. We’ll load up the bus in half an hour.” 

“Where did you learn all this stuff?” Elsa asked Kristoff as she helped him saw lumber.   
“I started working construction jobs when I was sixteen. One of my foster father’s worked construction and during the summer he let me tag along. I just wanted to make some money but I learned a lot too.”   
“What was foster care like?” Mulan asked.   
Kristoff gave the woman an odd look. “Sometimes it was ok, sometimes it sucked.”   
“Sorry I don’t really have any experience with it. I work for a private agency that does adoptions from foreign countries. I didn’t mean to be rude.”  
“It's ok.”   
“So, Elsa, you're Anna’s partner right?” Mulan asked.   
“Yeah.”  
“What's she like? I’d love to get to know her better.”  
“Uhm. She’s pretty great actually.”   
“Well she’s definitely hot I know that. When Danielle told me Anna was into girls I couldn’t believe it. It’s too bad Kai wouldn’t let us switch cabins. I’d love to catch a glimpse or two of her in the shower. Right Kristoff?” Mulan gave the blonde man a wink.   
“Well maybe it's better you didn't then, I’m not sure she’d appreciate being leered at all day.” Elsa replied.   
“Oh, what's wrong? Jealous?” Mulan teased.   
“Where is Anna anyway?” Kristoff asked.   
“Painting inside. The fumes were too much for me, I needed some fresh air.”   
“So answer the question Elsa. Do you have a thing for her too? I already know Kristoff here does.”   
“What? I do not!”   
“You totally do. Everyone knows it. You’re completely obvious.”   
“What do you care anyway?” Elsa asked.   
“I just want to know how much competition I have.”   
“Competition? She isn’t a trophy just waiting to be won.”  
“Who isn’t?” Anna startled the group.   
“How long have you been standing there?” Kristoff asked.   
“I just walked up. Here,I brought you guys some water.”  
“Thanks. And nobody, we were just talking about….uh horse racing.”  
“Horse racing? Interesting. You guys need a hand? Oaken finally caught on that Hans hadn’t done any work today so he made him join the paint crew. I can’t be in the same room as that asshole.”  
“Sure. We need all these pieces measured and cut to nine feet.” 

Half an hour later Anna nudged Elsa. “What were you guys really talking about? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t horse racing. You sounded pretty passionate.”   
“Maybe I love horses?”  
“I don’t think so.”   
“You.” Elsa sighed.   
“Me?”   
“Yeah. Look.” Elsa nodded to Kristoff and Mulan who were both grabbing the biggest, heaviest boards they could find and then flexing as much as possible while maneuvering them into position on the sawhorses. “We were getting a lot more work done before you came out here.”   
“Do you want me to leave?” Anna smirked.   
“No.” Mulan chose that moment to wipe the sweat off her neck with the hem of her shirt, showing off her abs in the process. “Well, maybe.”   
“So you were defending my honor then?”   
“Something like that. I don’t really like her much to be honest. She reminds me of Hans in a way, acting like you’re an object she can just possess.”   
“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
“What are you two whispering about over there?” Kristoff called out.   
“Elsa’s just explaining the finer points of horse racing.” Anna retorted. 

By the time they were done for the day Elsa was exhausted. I could probably go to bed now, she thought. After a quick shower and dinner she was prepared to head back to the cabin when Anna grabbed her arm. “Come for a walk with me?”   
“Aren’t we going to be walking enough tomorrow?”   
“Fine. What about going to the lounge? I think some people are watching a movie in there.”  
“What movie?”   
“Some horror movie.”   
“Fine.”  
“Really?”  
“I have a weakness for horror movies.”   
“You continue to surprise me, you know that?” 

The women entered the lounge to find Kristoff puting the DVD in to play. Elsa sat in one of the weird oversized chairs and then realized it was the last one that was unoccupied.   
“Anna, you can come sit with me.” Mulan said, patting the chair she was sitting in.   
“Or you can share with me.” Kristoff offered. “I’ll protect you if you get scared.”   
Elsa realized Anna looked uncomfortable with both of those suggestions.   
“Sorry guys, she’s already promised to hold my hand through the scary parts.”   
Anna looked relieved and grateful. “Thanks.” she whispered as she curled up next to Elsa. The blonde realized Mulan was glaring at her, so she just raised one eyebrow at her and smirked. A few seconds later she felt her phone vibrate. She pulled it out to see a message from Anna.   
“I saw that.”   
“Yeah, so I really don’t like her. And occasionally I can be a little cocky. I did tell you ice queen was a well deserved nickname.”   
“You’re really cute you know.”   
Elsa felt her heart skip when she read that last message. Fuck, what’s going on. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. She switched over to the group chat she maintained with Lauren and Dean: “Hey guys, I know I’m thirty years old so this is about fifteen years too late, but how do you know if you like someone?”  
The replies came back right away.   
Dean: Holy shit. The ice queen might have a crush?  
Lauren: What are they doing to you up there in the mountains?  
Elsa: Seriously guys. You know I don’t get crushes. I haven’t been on a date in four years.   
Dean: But you might like someone now? That's what you mean right? Or are you asking for a friend? J/K We know we’re your only friends.   
Elsa: I know I like her. As a person, I mean. Really like her. But how do I know if it's more than that?  
Dean: It’s a girl? Wow. Is she hot?  
Lauren: Shut up Dean. Elsa, can you imagine yourself kissing her? Touching her? How does that make you feel?   
Elsa allowed her imagination to come to life, picturing the beautiful redheads lips meeting her own.   
Elsa: Nervous.   
Lauren: Nervous how? Like butterflies in your stomach nervous?  
Elsa: Yes.   
Lauren: OMG. You finally have a crush on someone. I can’t believe this. Is she into women? Is she single?  
Elsa: Yes she’s single and yes she’s bi.   
Dean: I like her already. So what are you waiting for?  
Elsa: What do you mean?  
Dean: Make a move El.   
Elsa: I don’t know how.  
Dean: Srsly? You don’t even know how to flirt do you?  
Elsa: Yes I do. I think. She kind of flirts with me, so I definitely can recognize it when I see it.   
Lauren: So she flirts with you? Maybe she’ll make the move then.   
Elsa: I told her i’m asexual so I don’t think she will.   
Lauren: You told someone you just met six days ago that you’re asexual? Where is Elsa Winter and who is this imposter? And why would you tell her that if you like her?  
Elsa: I didn’t know I did!   
Dean: Nevermind that. Can you at least flirt back a little? Try to encourage her. Eventually she’ll want to know what’s going on and then you can be like totally kidding about that asexual thing. I think you cured me.   
Elsa: Maybe. I can try.   
She finally replied to Anna’s message. “Cute like that little kitten you saw yesterday?”  
“No, not quite like that.”  
“How then?” Elsa sent the message and then waited anxiously for the reply.   
“Ok maybe cute wasn’t the right word. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Dean: How’s it going?  
Lauren: I’m curious too not gonna lie.  
Elsa: idk. She called me cute. I tried to push her for more but I think she’s afraid I’ll be upset or offended.  
Dean: you have to keep it going. Don’t let it go. 

“Oh, so by cute you must have meant arrogant and aloof?”  
“No.”   
“Could have fooled me. Until you tell me otherwise I’ll just assume that's what you wanted to say. You’re just too nice.”   
She heard Anna sigh on the other end of the chair.   
“It’s just, that smirk you gave Mulan?”  
“Yeah?”  
Instead of replying via text Anna slid closer to Elsa and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “It was really fucking hot.” Elsa felt her entire body flush with heat as Anna moved away. 

Elsa: Hey guys?  
Dean: …  
Elsa: Yeah, I really like her.   
Lauren: I knew it. This is amazing. I want to meet her. I’m so glad we made you go.   
Elsa: Me too. And Dean, she is definitely hot. 

After the movie everyone went back to their cabins. As Elsa pulled out her journal she got one last message from Anna. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”  
She thought hard about how to reply. She knew she needed to make it obvious that she liked the flirtation between them or Anna would back off. “You didn’t. I’ve just been busy planning ways to incorporate that smirk into more of my interactions with you.” 

 

From the Journal of Elsa Winter:   
Fuck. After a lifetime of assuming I’ll never be attracted to anyone, I’m completely infatuated with this girl. It’s not like I never dated at all. I did, not recently, but I did in college. I just never liked anyone. Like this. I actually want her to touch me. And I’m pretty sure she likes me too, that’s the best part. I should have known that’s why I was feeling so jealous. Kristoff is actually a really nice guy but I don’t think he’s good enough for Anna. And Mulan, no. Just no. I’m so tired, can’t believe i’m going to walk up a mountain tomorrow. But Anna’s going to be there so it might not be so bad.” 

Anna’s Journal:   
Shit. So I’ve totally had a crush on Elsa, I knew that. But now she’s actually flirting with me. Why? I thought she was asexual. Is she just jealous that other people like me? But why? Maybe she just likes people liking her. She doesn’t seem like that type. But I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to assume I’m so amazing I changed her sexuality in five days. Maybe I should just go with it. We have two days out in the wilderness together to figure it out though.


	7. Hiking

Elsa awoke to more messages in her group chat.   
Dean: What happened next. I need to know.   
Lauren: I second that.   
Elsa: Calm down guys. Nothing happened. We went to bed. We leave today to go hike up this mountain. We won’t be back for two days so my phone battery won’t last.   
Dean: Ugh. I want details as soon as you get back in civilization.   
Elsa: Yes sir. I think i made it pretty clear I liked her.   
Dean: What did you say.   
Elsa took a screenshot of her conversation with Anna and sent it. She didn’t hear back for a few minutes.   
Lauren: Well you made it clear that you like that she likes you.   
Elsa: Huh?   
Lauren: Yeah, you didn’t really say you liked her. Just that you wanted her to find you hot.   
Dean: That’s kind of true.   
Elsa: Fuck. Why do i suck at this?  
Lauren: It's not bad though. Just make sure you clarify that you are into her at some point. It can’t all be about you. 

The women spent the morning packing for their two days in the woods. Food and other common supplies were divided up among the group so that no one would have to carry too much. As soon as breakfast was over they started the hike. After an hour they stopped for a break. Kai pulled a stack of papers out of his backpack. “I made everyone a list of some questions to ask your partner as we go. I hope you didn’t think this was all just going to be a walk in the park?” 

Elsa took the sheet of paper offered. Most were pretty standard get to know you stuff. Once they started walking again Anna was surrounded by people, namely Kristoff and Mulan. It wasn’t until they stopped for lunch that Elsa had a chance to talk to her partner.   
“Okay, first question. You’re most embarrassing moment.”   
“I can actually go first.” Elsa offered. “I was in undergrad and I had been dating this guy, Brad, for almost a year.   
“Wait. I thought you didn’t date.”   
“I don’t. I mean, I haven’t been on a date in four years. But I did in college and graduate school. I tried, I kept thinking I just hadn’t met the right person yet. Eventually I just gave up. I never felt that spark with anyone. Lauren and Dean, they’re both amazing people. I love them both. And they’re both very attractive people. But even then I’ve never wanted to kiss either of them or anything.”   
“Ok, sorry go on.”   
“Anyway, I’d been dating Brad and I knew it wasn’t going anywhere but he was nice, and smart, and people liked him. He was pre-law, and handsome, and his parents were great. But I always knew I’d end it eventually. So one night we’re out with his family, at their country club, which I hated. The place is packed and suddenly Brad gets up and the band stops playing and he starts making this big announcement.”  
“Oh no.”   
“Yep. He proposed.”   
“What an idiot.”  
“Well, in his defense, he didn't know I wasn’t that into him.”  
“I meant he was an idiot for doing that so publicly. No way you’d like that even if you were into him.”   
“That’s very true. So, I did what anyone would do. I ran out.”   
“Dramatic.”  
“Yeah. Not my finest moment. You’re turn.”   
“Wait, what happened to poor Brad?”  
“Poor Brad became a corporate lawyer and is happily married to a woman he met in grad school.”  
“At least he got a happy ending. My turn. Ok, so this story involves a cow, a rodeo clown, and peach schnapps.”   
Ten minutes later Anna was trying not to laugh so that she could finish the story. “So, that’s how a picture of me sitting on a cow, waving a hat in the air rodeo style ended up in the local paper. My dad was pissed.” Anna wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “He’s a politician so yeah…”  
“You’re really adorable.” Elsa didn't plan to say it, it just popped out.   
Anna smiled. “Elsa, I’m kind of confused.”   
“Honestly? Me too.”   
“So you aren’t just…”  
“Just what?”  
“Just. I don’t know. You know how some people just like for people to like them? To prove a point or whatever?”   
“No. I mean, yes I do know. And no. That’s not what this is.”   
“Ok. So, by adorable you mean silly and impulsive?”  
“No.” Elsa knew she had to finish her thought, but she had never felt so nervous. “I meant incredibly beautiful.”   
Anna’s eyes widened and she started to say something but Oaken clapped his hands and urged everyone back on their feet. 

They finally stopped for the evening in a clearing not far from a waterfall. “We are about three fourths of the way to the summit. We set up camp here and tomorrow we hike the rest. Tomorrow night we will stay here again and then head back to Arendelle the next day. If everyone could unpack the items for the tents we will get started. We have four tents, each one sleeps eight people. The groups worked quickly to set the four large tents up and then everyone drug a sleeping bag and and the rest of their gear into one. Elsa put her sleeping bag in the corner and Anna flung hers down beside it. Mulan managed to maneuver herself on the other side of Anna which caused Elsa to raise an eyebrow in Anna’s direction.   
“What can I say? I’m popular.” Anna said with a shrug. 

Once everyone was finished with the sleeping arrangements they gathered firewood and Oaken started to unpack the food. When they had finished eating Kristoff approached Anna. “Hey, some of us are going to walk down to the waterfall. Want to come?”   
“Of course. Come on Elsa.”   
Elsa glanced at Kristoff and could tell the guy didn’t want her to tag along. “No thanks.”   
“What? You’re coming. Thats final.”  
“Anna, I’m pretty tired. I’m not used to all this outdoors time.”   
“Please? Everyone is going.”   
“Except Danielle. Her feet hurt.” Sheryl said as she passed by.   
“Well in that case, let's go.” Elsa gave in.   
Elsa walked ahead chatting with Sheryl and let Kristoff have his time with Anna. She could hear the man grumbling behind her.   
“Do you guys have to spend every waking minute together? You’re pretty much the only partners that actually seem to like each other and want to be around each other.”   
“So? What’s your point?” Anna asked. 

The waterfall was incredible and Elsa was glad she had made the walk to see it. Once they were back at the campsite Anna was at her side.   
“I’m sorry I forced you to go.”  
“It was worth it, I’m glad you did.”   
“Kristoff wanted to talk to me.”  
“Yeah, I could tell he didn’t want me to go.”  
“You’re really perceptive. He wanted to ask me out, after the conference ends.”  
“Of course. Not that I can blame him.”  
“I told him no. I don’t see him that way.”   
Elsa was immensely relieved. “Must be hard to be so sought after.” she teased.   
“Depends. It wasn’t so bad last night.” 

“Okay everyone, time for bed. Lots more walking tomorrow.” Gerda announced. 

Elsa lay in the tent staring into space. She knew she would never be able to fall asleep in a tent full of people she didn’t know. She was just going to have to suffer, listening to the snores coming from every direction. She felt Anna shift and slide closer to her. When Anna moved again a few minutes later she sat up to check on her. Mulan had one arm thrown over Annas torso and the red-head was clearly trying to get away. Elsa powered her phone on and sent Anna a quick message. “Do you want to switch spots with me?”   
She heard Anna’s phone vibrate nearby and saw Anna grab it from under her head.   
“Kind of. But I know you don’t want to sleep next to her either.”   
Elsa sat up and motioned for Anna to move over. The young woman did and Elsa moved back into her place. Her phone lit up with a message. “Thank you.”   
“She’s really pissing me off. I promise not to molest you in your sleep.”   
“I can’t catch a break today can I?”   
Elsa smiled in the dark. She turned her back to Mulan and inched a little closer to Anna. She couldn’t believe how much she wanted to be near her, to touch her. She pushed red hair away from the side of Anna’s neck and pressed her lips against the warm skin just under her ear. Anna reached back and grabbed her arm and pulled it over her body so that they were snuggled up together. Lying there in the dark with Anna in her arms was the most perfect Elsa had ever felt in her life, and it terrified her even as it elated her. 

From the Journal of Elsa Winter:   
Maybe the whole hiking thing isn’t so bad. It's just walking really. While carrying a bag full of heavy stuff. I can’t believe in a few days this whole conference will be over. I don’t know how much I learned here but I’m definitely glad I came. I’m a little worried about what will happen once this is over. I guess I should ask her out. Ask if she wants to go out after we leave. That’s what Kristoff did, and it’s got to work out better for me right? 

Anna’s Journal:   
Ok. She likes me, she really likes me. This is amazing. I mean she’s so beautiful, she’s definitely the most attractive person i’ve ever had a chance with. She’s also pretty much the most intelligent person i’ve ever met, kind, perceptive, successful, caring...I could probably go on forever. I really hope she wants to see me again after this is over. I think this is moving way beyond a crush. And the way she came to my rescue with Mulan, I could have swooned. She put herself in an uncomfortable situation to make me feel safer. Amazing.


	8. The Kiss

“Aww, that is so cute.”  
“Adorable really.”   
Elsa heard the voices and was aware of sunlight hitting her eyes. “What’s so cute?” she asked.   
“The two of you.” Sheryls voice answered. “Beth, come see this.”   
“Oh my god, they are too cute.” Beth gushed.   
Elsa really needed to figure out what everyone was talking about. She pried one eye open and all she could see was red. She tried to sit up but something was weighing her down. After several seconds of struggling she managed to figure out what the something was: Anna. Somehow they had ended up with Elsa on her back and Anna’s head on her chest, legs intertwined.   
“Anna, wake up.”   
“So why didn’t you guys tell me?” Sheryl asked. “Because of Danielle?”  
“No. There isn’t anything to tell. I mean, nothing has happened. Seriously, we didn’t fall asleep like this on purpose.”   
“Damn Elsa, don’t sound so horrified at the idea.” Anna was finally awake.   
“That’s not what I meant. Sheryl we didn’t tell you because really, until yesterday there wasn’t anything to tell. But yeah, we like each other obviously.”   
“That’s an understatement. Well I think you’re adorable together. Unfortunately, Danielle told everyone and there might be a few hurt feelings out there.” 

After breakfast the group set out once again on the trail up the mountain. Danielle wasted no time telling the women what she thought of them.   
“Absolutely disgusting. Commiting sins of such a nature in full view of others! While innocent people slept around you.”   
“We didn’t do anything. We weren’t even cuddling on purpose. I just latched on to her in my sleep.” Anna protested.  
“So it was innocent then? You haven’t corrupted Elsa?”  
“Yes it was innocent.”  
“No.” Elsa cut in. “I mean yes, it was innocent, we didn’t do it on purpose. Nothing was going on before we feel asleep. But if you are holding onto the hope that it meant nothing then you’re wrong.”   
“So she did turn you gay.”  
“That’s not how it works.” Anna started.   
“I don’t know, that is kind of what happened.” Elsa grinned.   
“Leave them alone Danielle.” Kristoff snapped. 

Danielle dropped back to find her husband and Elsa rolled her eyes.   
“Hey, Anna you could have just told me you guys had a thing.” Kristoff admonished.   
“We didn’t though. Everyone is just making a big deal out of nothing. I mean I do like her, but I didn’t mean to wrap myself around her in my sleep.”   
“It’s cool. I don’t blame you. Elsa’s way better than Hans at least.”   
“You’re right she totally is.”   
“So maybe we could all hang out sometime? After we go back to our regular lives that is?”   
“I’d love that.” Anna enthused.   
“I’d like that as well.” Elsa replied.   
“Great.” 

Elsa waited until they were more or less alone within the line of hikers to broach the same topic.  
“Anna I kind of wanted to ask you about that?”  
“About what?”  
“After this conference is over. If you wanted to go out?”  
“Out? Like, on a date out?”  
“Yes.”   
“Yes. I would. How about Friday?”   
“Perfect.” 

They finally reached the summit just before lunch time and Elsa was floored by the view. She stood gazing out at the beautiful forest that stretched to the outskirts of Arendelle city.   
“Impressed?” Anna asked.   
“Yes. It’s amazing.”   
“So, I hate to bring this up but we have one more question on the list to ask each other.”   
“Oh yeah. Okay. What is it?”  
“Share a secret that no one else knows about you.”  
“That’s probably going to be tough for you. I bet you don’t keep many secrets.”   
“Hey! That’s not fair. You’re right though. Okay, there is one thing that absolutely no one knows. Not even my mom. So, my life is pretty good right? I mean, I like my job, I have good co-workers and really good friends. My parents are great. I didn’t have student loan debt so I’m pretty good financially. Nothing to complain about really. But sometimes, not all the time, I just get really really lonely. And sometimes, I end up crying and I hate it I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. What kind of grown woman with nothing to complain about cries herself to sleep? That was really pathetic wasn’t it?”  
“No. But I’m not gonna lie it broke my heart a little.”   
Anna hugged Elsa’s arm. “You’re turn.”   
“Okay. I’ve never told anyone this before. Not Lauren or Dean even so it’s kind of a big deal.”   
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”  
“I do want to, it’s just hard. But I think I’m ready, and I want you to be the person I tell. I had a little sister.”   
“What? Oh, god, did she…”  
“I don’t know. I had just turned five and started school. My sister was younger, two or three years younger. I had to take care of her. I had to feed her and give her a bath and all that. Mom didn’t do it. But I didn’t mind because I loved her. My sister I mean. I loved taking care of her. One day I came home from school and she was gone. I asked my mom what happened but she just told me to shut up. She never did tell me what happened. I always assumed mom sold her. For drugs or something.”  
“You never tried to find her?”   
“No. Not as an adult. I mean, wherever she went it wasn’t good. If she is even still alive I don't think I could bear to see what she’s become. I couldn’t face her. The kind of people who would trade money or drugs for a child didn’t have good intentions.”   
“What was her name?   
“Alison.”   
“Elsa, I’m so sorry. I’m honored that you told me.”  
“I really like you Anna. But I’m scared. I don’t know if I can be good enough for you. I’m just as broken and damaged as the kids I see every day.”   
“We all are, in a way. I really like you too, so maybe you can try? And if we end up being just friends that’s okay too.”   
“I don’t know Anna. If I could be just friends with you, that is. You feel too perfect in my arms to give that up.”   
“Jesus Elsa. Whoever called you an ice queen is crazy. You’re way too charming for your own good.” 

They finally arrived back at the camp site and everyone scattered to go find firewood. Elsa was alone a little way from camp when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned expecting Anna but instead was confronted by Mulan. 

“So, what was last night about?”  
“I should be the one asking you that.”  
“You knew I liked her. If you had a thing for her you could have said something.”   
“Look, it just kind of happened. But seriously, what you did last night was fucked up. Who tries to touch someone without their permission like that? You know that’s why we switched places to begin with. She felt so uncomfortable being next to you.”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“Don’t try to play it off like you were asleep. I know you weren’t”  
“Why not, that’s the story you went with wasn’t it?”  
“I don’t owe you anything. Keep your hands to yourself from now on.”   
“Or what?”  
“Or maybe Zen Dragon Adoptions gets a phone call from one of the foremost child psychologists in the state about your inappropriate behavior.”   
“Fine.” 

After dinner people started to head in to the tents to get some sleep. Anna grabbed Elsa by the hand and led her away from the campsite.   
“Should I be worried? Where are you taking me?”   
“I’m pretty clumsy and it’s dark so yeah you could worry. Don’t you recognize this path from yesterday?”   
“The waterfall?”   
“Yeah. I hope that’s ok. I just wanted to be alone for a little while with you.”   
“Of course.” Soon they arrived at the magnificent falls and Elsa once again was struck by the beauty of it. Anna took her by the hand and led her across wet rocks until they reached a stone platform behind the curtain of rushing water.   
“Wow. How did you know this was here?”  
“Oaken told me yesterday. When everyone came down. I guess he comes up here a lot.”   
“It's beautiful. It's incredible to see it from this angle.”   
“It is.”   
“My only complaint is that I can’t see you very well with the moonlight hidden.”  
Anna reached and took her hand. “You don’t need to see me.”   
Elsa wrapped one hand in Anna’s hair and pulled her closer. She leaned down until their lips were just barely touching. Anna seemed frozen in place, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but it was torture to be so close and not finish what Elsa had started. “Elsa.” She whispered. “Please.”   
Elsa kissed her then, gently at first and then hungrily. She felt Elsa’s tongue glide along her bottom lip and she immediately opened her mouth for more, hands wrapping around the blondes torso, holding her tightly to her. They kissed for what felt like an eternity, and yet it ended all too soon.   
“I’m out of practice, sorry.” Elsa said.   
“Well, thank god for that. If you weren’t it might have killed me.”   
“You’re adorable. Do you want to head back?”  
“No. I want to stay out here with you all night.”   
“We should have brought the sleeping bags then.”  
“Yeah. Fine. We can go back. One more kiss?”   
“Absolutely.” 

The walked back to the campsite in silence and climbed into their tent. Anna waited until she was sure everyone was asleep to wrap her arms around Elsa, content to hold her until morning. 

From the Journal of Elsa Winter:   
For the first time in twenty five years I spoke of Alison to someone. Why? Why now, why after all these years can I not maintain the barrier I keep between myself and all others? Why is it her who had to break those walls down? The only answer is that it's her. Anna. It’s something about her and I may never find that in another person. What a terrifying thought because I will surely mess this up. I’ll lose her in the end. 

Anna’s Journal:  
Wow. I knew she was attractive, and I knew I was seriously attracted to her but I was not prepared for that kiss. At all. I’ve never felt that kind of connection before. I could have stayed there all night, just to kiss her. I almost can’t believe she agreed to see me again this week, after we return to our lives. I’m terrified she’ll change her mind. Once we’re apart the walls will go back up and she will run from this. Please don’t run Elsa.


	9. S'mores

The group was up the next morning to pack up and start the hike back to Camp Arendelle. Elsa found herself walking with Gerda for the last few miles.   
“I’m pleased you attended, Dr. Winter. I greatly admire your research, particularly the book you wrote on separation among siblings. I never expected such an accomplished professional to sign up for our conference.”   
“Please, call me Elsa. I appreciate the compliment but truly you and Dr. Broward are the experts.”   
“Still, I doubt that there was much we could teach you.”   
“I recently opened my own practice, and although I know the science behind treating children, interacting with them with the appropriate level of warmth and empathy has been a struggle. I’m not an open person.”   
“Unlike your friend Anna?”  
“Exactly. I’m grateful to have met her. Perhaps I had a head start compared to some of the other participants but what I’ve learned from being her partner this past week is an invaluable experience.”  
“If certain rumours are to be believed, you two have become quite close?”  
Elsa blushed. “Yes. That is true. I’m sorry if it has caused other’s an uncomfortableness.”   
“Don’t worry about that. I’m delighted for you, we all are. Professor Oaken especially, he had Anna for several classes last year.”   
“She didn’t mention that.”  
“I believe she was quite a favorite of his, and likely the reason she attended. I don’t suggest breaking her heart as long as he’s around.”   
“Of course not.” Even as she said the words, Elsa knew it was unlikely she could keep that promise. 

Elsa soon found herself back in the cabin, unpacking her hiking gear and longing for a hot shower.   
“Sheryl and Danielle are already in.” Anna said.   
“Ugh. I can’t wait to be clean.”  
“I know. I missed you today, but I saw you talking to Gerda.”   
“Yes. You never mentioned that you knew Professor Oaken.”  
“I didn’t want anyone to think he was playing favorites.”   
“I see. Well, I’ve been properly warned not to toy with your affections.”   
“Uh-oh. Well, I would listen if I were you. My former advisor has already had to threaten one guy for me.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. I’m really bad at choosing the people I date, it would seem. I mean, look at Hans. I was totally into that. Only because I didn’t think i had a chance with you, but still. But anyway, I dated this guy for a while last year and when things didn’t work out he started showing up at my apartment, outside of my classes, even at my internship once. Oaken noticed and finally had words with him.”  
“A hero. I’m afraid you’re making another bad choice with me Anna.”   
“I don’t think so. I don’t for one moment think you’re going to make things easy, but this isn’t a mistake. I won’t let it be.”   
“So confidant. I like that.” 

Sheryl and Danielle emerged from the bathroom at that moment so Anna just winked. After washing away the dirt from the last several days Elsa joined the class at dinner. Kai announced that the bonfire would start in an hour but he had one more task for the group in the meantime.   
“This is completely optional.” he started. “On the first day you were told that your journals were private and that is true. I hope you were honest in your reflections. If you can, I would like for you to share your journals with your partners. Again, you don’t have to.”   
Elsa looked at Anna nervously, she wasn’t sure if she wanted Anna to realize that most of her writing had been about the red-head and not the course content. But she did trust her, and she wanted to prove that.   
“You don’t have to share Elsa, but you can read mine.”   
“I was going to say the same thing.”  
“Really?”   
“Yes.”   
The women went back to their cabin and exchanged notebooks. Elsa settled into her bunk to read Anna’s private thoughts, a feeling of apprehension flowing through her. It didn’t take her long to read the journal, and she noticed her phone was charged so she grabbed it and sent her friends a message. 

Elsa: Well, good news I survived a hike up the mountain and two days in the wilderness.   
Dean: That’s great but get to the good stuff.  
Elsa: What good stuff?  
Lauren: Elsa!   
Elsa: Lol. It’s good. We’re going out Friday.   
Dean: Out? On a date? Does she live nearby?  
Elsa: Yes a date. Yes she lives in Arendelle.   
Lauren: Wow. Anything else?  
Elsa: Well, I kind of, maybe kissed her.  
Dean: Kind of? Maybe?  
Elsa: Ok. I kissed her.   
Lauren: Please stand by, I’m having a heart attack.   
Elsa: Very funny. I’ll tell you guys more when I get back to work on Wed. 

“So, any thoughts?” Anna asked as they went to the bonfire. “About my journal?”   
“Well, I hate that you thought I didn’t like you at first. It makes sense though, because I hear that from people a lot. I’m really glad you didn’t let that stand in your way. And you lied about your favorite movie!”   
“Yeah. Sorry, I couldn’t stand that you guessed it right. Tangled is like my second favorite.”   
“Cute. You really have a thing for my eyes huh?”   
“Elsa, they’re gorgeous. Who wouldn’t have a thing for them?”  
“Well, thanks. So, any thoughts for me?”  
“It seems like you liked me from the beginning. As a partner at least.”   
“I did. You’re pretty amazing, in case you didn’t realize.” 

The two tried to concentrate on having a good time at the bonfire, Anna finally getting those s’mores she wanted. They spent time with Kristoff and Sheryl and Elsa talked to Kai and Gerda more in-depth about her research. She did need to get one thing off her chest though.   
“Dr. Broward, I wanted to ask you something.”   
“Please,call me Kai. We’re colleagues after all.”   
“Why did you allow Hans to remain after the incident at the animal sanctuary? I don’t believe you thought it was me.”   
Kai sighed. “Truthfully, no I never thought it was you. I was so shocked that something like that could happen. I never would have guessed that a Harvard educated doctor would assault someone during a vulnerable moment like that. In front of witnesses.”   
“I understand you were shocked. I attended school with him and his brother and I was still shocked. I’m asking why you let him stay.”  
“To be honest, money. Hans father gave us a very generous grant for this project. Many of the attendees work for state governments that would never pay for them to attend something like this. Many of the people here even had to use their own vacation time. That money gave them a chance they wouldn’t have had otherwise.”   
“While I can sympathize with the situation, I don’t think you made the right decision.”   
“I can understand that. I’m sorry for what happened.” 

When it was time for the campers to go to bed Anna grabbed Elsa’s hand and led her to cabin four. They paused at the doorway to allow Danielle and Sheryl to enter first. Elsa looked at Anna and giggled.   
“What’s so funny?”  
“You have marshmallow stuck to your lips.”   
“Ugh.” Anna tried to scrub it off.   
“I got it.” Elsa ran a thumb along Anna’s lower lip, then kissed her. “I’m going to miss you.”   
“I’ll miss you too. But I’ll see you Friday.”   
“Yes you will.”   
“Promise?”  
“I’m not going to run away from you.” 

Elsa awoke the next morning and loaded up her car. Ten days earlier she had arrived, full of anxiety and trepidation. Now she didn’t want to leave.   
“Nice car.” Anna had appeared at her side.   
“Thanks.”   
“Do you mind if I ask something totally inappropriate?”  
“I guess not.”   
“Well I assumed that you went to college on scholarships,loans etc. But still, you have like four degrees. And med school is expensive.”   
“You right. I did, and it is.”   
“Well, I know you guys are in private practice, but still. This is a really nice car.”   
“Bitcoin.”  
“Bitcoin?”  
“Yeah. I mean, before that I had other investments. I started in undergrad. Stocks, at first. Some gambling. Turns out I’m good at blackjack. I had some real estate for a while. But yeah, cryptocurrency caught my attention and that’s where I really made money.”   
“You’re even more amazing that I thought. That was none of my business but thanks for answering. I had decided you were a secret art thief.”   
“Art thief?”   
“Yeah. It sounded romantic and exciting.”   
“You’re ridiculous. There’s no money in stolen art. Too hard to find a buyer. I’ll see you soon, okay?”  
“Yeah. Text me. Or call, okay?”   
“I will.”   
Anna gave her a hug and a quick kiss, and then the redhead was climbing into her jeep and driving away. 

Elsa was just getting into bed when she received a text from Anna.   
“Got home from an amazing week in the mountains. I learned so much I can’t wait to share with everyone at work. And I met the most amazing woman. We’re going out Friday and I can’t wait. Even though I’m glad to sleep in my own bed again, I’ll miss seeing her when I wake up. She made me the most beautiful bird house. I’ve already hung it up in my favorite tree. I hope she has amazing dreams tonight.” 

Elsa smiled and sent her a text back.   
“Glad to be home after a long week. I’ll miss my new friends but I’m looking forward to never seeing Danielle or Hans again. And no more cafeteria food. But I’m so glad Lauren and Dean forced me to go. I met the most wonderful woman. No one has ever reached me this way. I can’t stop thinking about her. Friday can’t come quick enough.”


	10. Home

Wednesday morning found Elsa back at work.   
“Tell us everything.” Lauren started the moment she walked in the door.   
“What’s to tell?” Elsa teased.   
“Come on El. You can’t hold out on us now. You’re even smiling. Obviously this woman must be special. When do we get to meet her?”   
“Our first date isn’t until Friday. So it might be awhile.”   
“Oh, come on.”  
“I need to take things slow. You know how I am. Right now I just want to concentrate on Friday.”   
“Ok. So, what are you going to do?”   
“I don’t know. Shit. I don’t know, help?” 

Elsa nervously pulled up in front of Anna’s house. It was small, but cute, with tons of flowers and a big oak tree in the front. The birdhouse they had made was hanging from one of the branches. Before she could even ring the bell Anna flung the door open and pulled her inside.   
“Wow. You look incredible.” Elsa blushed.   
“Thanks. So do you.” Anna was wearing a dark green dress that stopped mid thigh with calf length brown boots. She grabbed Elsa and kissed her.   
“Kind of forward for a first date.” Elsa teased.   
Anna rolled her eyes. “We already know we like each other. And we’ve already kissed.”   
“True. Are you sure you’re hungry? We could just stay here…”   
“I’m starving actually. I had to work through lunch.”   
“Come on then, let’s feed you.” 

“So, how has work been?” Elsa asked once they were seated.   
“The same. My caseload just seems to grow by the day. Today’s crisis involved a guy who just didn’t see the problem beating mom in front of the kids. As the police carted him off he was like what, I didn’t hit the baby!”   
“Ugh. How do you do it?”  
“It's hard. Really hard sometimes. How was your week?”  
“Good. I’ve been trying hard to lighten up and be more approachable. Lauren and Dean say it’s working, although they’re convinced it's you, not the conference.”   
“So you told them about me?”  
“Uh, yeah. I might have told them last week actually. I needed advice.”  
“On?”  
“Umm...flirting?”  
“Oh my god, Elsa. That’s too cute. So, when do I get to meet them?”   
“Soon I guess. They want to meet you too.”   
“I heard from Kristoff. He asked Sheryl out after the conference ended, they want to hang out sometime.”   
“That’s great. I really liked her.”  
“Yeah. So maybe all of us could do something? We could have a game night or something?”   
“Game night?”   
“Yes, Elsa. That is a time, usually at night, when a group of people gather together to play games.”   
“Do you think you’re funny?”   
“Yes.” 

When they arrived back at Anna’s door Elsa took a deep breath.   
“So, you’ll talk to Kristoff and let me know?”   
“Yes. But where do you think you’re going?” Anna unlocked the door and turned on the living room light.   
“Nowhere?”   
“Exactly.” The redhead pulled Elsa into the house. “Sit.” Elsa obediently sat on the couch.   
“Am I in trouble? You sound mad.”   
Anna grinned and walked to the blonde. “I’m not mad at all, but you are in trouble.” She straddled Elsa and gripped the back of her neck.   
“What kind of trouble?”   
“Only the good kind.” Anna brought her lips to meet Elsa’s and wasted no time slipping her tongue inside the woman’s mouth. Elsa let her mind go blank so that her body would take over. Her hands were sliding up Anna’s thighs, underneath her dress, nails raking the skin when Anna moaned.   
“I’m sorry. I don’t know…”  
“Don’t be sorry. I want you.” Anna leaned back a little and unbuttoned the top of her dress, sliding it off her shoulders. Elsa tried to maintain eye contact and not stare at the skin that was being exposed but as Anna slid the red bra she wore down as well it was impossible not to drop her eyes. Anna responded by leaning forward and bringing Elsa’s mouth to her breast, groaning as the doctor sucked one nipple into her mouth. “Elsa. God, I need you.” Elsa responded by sliding her hands back up, under the dress and rubbing her long fingers against the fabric of Anna’s underwear.   
“Anna, god you’re so wet.”  
“That’s what you do to me.”   
Elsa willed her brain to re-engage. She wanted this woman, more than she had ever wanted anything, but not like this. Not on the couch with clothes still on, like two teenagers rushing before their parents came home. She moved her lips back up to Anna’s neck, finally reaching her ear. “Get up.” She growled.   
“No, Elsa please.”   
“I want these clothes off. I want you in the bedroom.” This time Anna complied, grabbing her by the hand and leading her into the darkened bedroom. Elsa gasped as Anna slid out of her dress and tossed it aside. “I knew you were beautiful Anna, but god. You’re perfect.”   
“You’re still dressed.” Anna pointed out. In seconds both women were naked and Elsa was sliding her thin body over Anna’s.   
“Did you think for one moment I was going to walk away without giving you what you wanted?”   
“Yes.” Anna pouted.   
“Never.” Elsa slid her fingers easily into Anna, the younger woman arching into her hand. “I would never leave you like this. I want you too much.”   
“You’re doing a very good job of taking me.” Anna panted.   
“No, Anna I want you. All of you.”  
Anna grabbed a handful of blonde hair and stared into her eyes. “I’m yours.” 

Two weeks later Elsa nervously opened her door to Lauren and Dean.   
“Hey guys.”   
“So where is she?” Dean asked.   
“She isn’t here yet. And don’t be weird. You’re going to scare her away.”  
“If you haven’t scared her away yet I doubt I will.”   
“Very funny.” Elsa jumped up to answer the door again.   
“Kristoff. Sheryl. I’m glad you could make it.”   
“Is that her?” Dean called from the kitchen.   
“No. This is Kristoff, and this is Sheryl. These are my colleagues Dean and Lauren.” Elsa made introductions.   
The group in the kitchen heard the front door open and close. In seconds Anna was wrapping her arms around Elsa’s waist.   
“Hey babe.”   
She has a key? Dean mouthed silently.   
Lauren shrugged. Lesbians.   
“Hey. Anna, this is Lauren, and this jerk is Dean. Please ignore him.”   
“They must pretty special if they’re friends of yours.”  
“We were just saying the same about you.”   
“So are you guys like together, together?” Kristoff asked.   
“Kris. It’s only been a couple of weeks. Don’t put them on the spot.” Sheryl admonished.   
“No it’s fine. We are.” Anna answered.   
“You are?” Dean asked.   
“Yes Dean.” Elsa said.  
“You seemed to have failed to mention this Elsa.”   
“I didn’t know I needed to.”   
“You didn’t. Don’t pay attention to him guys.” Lauren said.  
“It’s okay. I know it seems fast, I guess.” Anna said.   
“Well, for Elsa. You know.”   
“Stop talking about me like I’m not here.”   
“Sorry Elsa. What are we going to play?”   
“I brought cards against humanity.” Kristoff suggested.   
“What’s that?” Elsa asked.   
“Oh, I can’t wait for this.” Dean chuckled. 

To everyone’s surprise Elsa won the first round.   
“I can’t believe you.” Anna pouted.   
“Babe, you're too sensitive.”   
“You guys are kind of fucked up.” Sheryl said.   
“That’s the point.” Kristoff laughed.   
“Don’t be mad.” Elsa kissed Anna’s cheek.   
“God they’re making me sick.” Lauren groaned.   
“Wait til they decide they’re in love. It’s only going to get worse.”   
Elsa busied herself cleaning up the cards, hoping no one saw her blush. Anna downed the rest of her drink quickly. Unfortunately Kristoff picked up on their discomfort.   
“Uh, guys. Did we say something?”   
“No.” Anna squeaked.   
“Then why are you both turning red?”  
“Oh, come on.” Dean grumbled. “There’s no way you’ve dropped the L-bomb already.”  
“No.” Both women chimed in at once.   
“Then why do you look so uncomfortable?”   
“Yeah, Elsa, why do you look uncomfortable?” Anna asked.   
“What? I don’t. I’m not. Why are you making a big deal out of this?”   
“Let it go, guys.” Sheryl said.   
“Yeah, lets play another round.” 

Several hours later Anna was snuggled up to Elsa, finally alone.   
“I’m glad I got to meet your friends.”   
“Me too. Sorry if they made things weird.”  
“They didn’t. They’re just protective of you. That’s sweet.”   
“It was good to see Kristoff and Sheryl again too.”   
“Absolutely.”   
“So are you going to tell me now that we’re alone why you were so embarrassed earlier?”   
“You can’t let that go can you?”  
“You know I can’t.”   
“You were blushing too.”  
“Okay. You’re right, I was.”  
“I just felt a little embarrassed. I can tell that everyone thinks we’re moving too quickly.”  
“Do you think that?”  
“No. I don’t.”   
“Good.”   
“So, why were you red?”  
“It was nothing, just something I was thinking.”   
Elsa was silent for while, Anna relieved that her girlfriend was going to drop the subject.   
“Anna?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“I love you.”   
Anna looked up at her, clearly startled. “You do?”  
Elsa nodded. “Actually, I’m in love with you.”   
“I’m in love with you too.”   
“Really?”  
“Definitely.”


	11. Christmas

Several months later Anna sat at work, rubbing her temples. She was due to head out of town with Elsa any minute, finally taking her girlfriend to meet her parents. Unfortunately a crisis had cropped up at the last minute.   
“Any luck?” She asked her co-worker, Sue.   
“No. Every agency is calling all their available foster homes, but so far no luck.”  
Anna sighed. It wasn’t every day a child with these particular issues was removed from parental care. Still, she had had no choice. The poor boy of seven had been locked in his room without food or water for days on end. Social Services had gotten a tip from neighbors who reported not seeing the boy for months. Because of his severe intellectual disabilities the parents were tired of dealing with him.   
“Do you want to color?” The boy, Olaf, asked her supervisor James as he entered the room.  
“No thanks buddy.” Olaf looked disappointed for a moment, then went back to coloring on his own.   
“No luck?” James asked.   
“Not yet. I didn’t realize we had such a shortage of foster-parents.”   
“It’s going to be hard. He needs extensive care.”   
“Do you want to color?” Olaf asked the administrative assistant who had just entered.   
“Not right now.” She replied.   
“What do you suggest?” Anna asked.   
“We might have to call the group homes. Or the hospital.”   
“Do you want to color?” Olaf asked again. Anna glanced up to see a police officer enter.   
“Uh, no thanks. Where is Anna Johnson?” The officer asked.  
“Right here.”   
“I’ve got some paperwork for you to sign.  
“Do you want to color?” Anna sighed. The poor boy was never discouraged.   
“I would love to color.” A familiar voice said. Anna glanced up to see Elsa sit down across from Olaf at the table in the center of the room. Elsa grabbed a coloring sheet and some crayons.   
“I’m Olaf.”   
“Hi. I’m Elsa. Do you like to color?”   
“Yes. It’s my favorite”   
“Me too.”   
Anna just stared at her girlfriend. I’m going to marry this woman, she thought, If it’s the last thing I do. She sent Elsa a text explaining the situation. Elsa texted her back: “Have you tried Kristoff?”   
Why didn’t I think of that? Anna scrolled through her contacts.   
“Why did you color the horse green? Horses aren’t green.” Olaf was asking.   
“I just felt like it.” Elsa replied. 

An hour later Olaf was on his way to the group home Kristoff worked at and Anna was climbing into Elsa’s car.   
“Ready for the long drive?” She asked.   
“We could have flown you know.”  
“And miss out on our first road trip together? No way.”

Ten hours later they finally arrived at Anna’s childhood home. Elsa took a deep breath, and stared at the imposing house.   
“Nervous?”   
“A little.”   
“Don’t be.” 

“Elsa, I’m so happy to meet you, finally. You’re just as beautiful as Anna said.” Idunn gushed.   
“Thank you Mrs. Johnson.”  
“Call me Idunn. Agnar will be home soon and we’ll have dinner. Let me show you to your room, I’m sure you're exhausted.”   
Agnar turned out to be just as friendly as his wife and dinner was a pleasant affair.   
“So Elsa, where are you from?”   
“North Carolina actually.”   
“What a coincidence. So is Anna.”   
“What? No I’m not.” Anna said.  
An uncomfortable silence descended on the room. “Sure you are honey. That’s where we were living when we adopted you. Your dad was a state senator then.”  
“I don’t remember you telling me that. I just assumed I was born here.”   
“Oh, well, it’s not a big difference. We moved when you were four.” Idunn said.   
“Yes it is. I don’t even know where I’m from.”   
“Hey, Anna, it’s okay.” Elsa tried to soothe her. “Don’t you have your original birth certificate?”   
“No. I’ve never seen it. Mom?”   
“Oh sweet pea. We never had it either. The lady that called the police didn’t know your real name, or your mother’s name. The police never figured it out.”   
“I thought it was a neighbor. My babysitter?”   
“Well. I don’t know exactly. I just know they couldn’t trace your real identity.”   
“Oh. I guess it doesn’t really make much of a difference.”   
“Exactly dear.”   
Elsa rubbed her back soothingly. “Are you ok?”  
“Sure babe.” 

After dinner Anna helped her mom in the kitchen and Elsa accompanied Agnar into the den. As he surfed netflix to find a movie he grinned at the blonde.   
“So, I think this is the part where I ask you what your intentions are towards my daughter?”  
“I love her.”   
“I can see that. Are you in love with her?”  
“Yes.”   
“I’m glad to hear that, because I know how she feels about you. She deserves to be loved, you know.”   
“Yes sir. She does. So why are you lying to her?”  
Adgar sighed. “You’re very perceptive. That was Idunn’s idea. She didn’t want Anna to grow up hating her birth family.”   
“So what really happened?”   
“A woman called the police. She said she went to her son’s house and he had a little girl there. She was suspicious because her son wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen. The police took the girl, and arrested the man but he never did say where he got her from.”   
“I understand. I think Anna deserves the truth though. She’s a remarkable woman, I think she can handle it.”   
“I’m sure you’re right. I’ll talk to Idunn tomorrow. How do you feel about Horror movies?”   
“I love them.” 

“What are we watching?” Anna asked.   
“Something scary.”   
“Awesome.” Anna cuddled up to her girlfriend on the couch.

The women spent several days with Anna’s parents. The day before they were scheduled to leave they took a trip in to D.C. and did some of the touristy stuff.   
“Well, do you guys like her?” Anna asked while Elsa was out of earshot.   
“We love her.” Idunn said.   
“Yeah pumpkin, this one’s a keeper I think.” Her dad agreed. “What about you? How do you feel? You’ve only been seeing each other for a few months.”   
“I think she’s the one.”   
“Does she feel the same way?” Idunn asked.   
“I don’t know.”   
“It’s still new, give them time honey.” Agnar teased his wife.   
The group went out to dinner, and Agnar pulled Elsa aside. “We’ve decided to tell her the truth Elsa. I hope she understands why we hid it from her.”   
“I think that’s a good decision, but are you sure you don’t want that to be a private family moment?”  
“No, I think she would want you to be there. And you’re practically family now anyway.”   
Anna handled the news well. “It really changes nothing. Does it matter if my birth mother sold me or just handed me off to someone and never came back? Both situations mean she didn’t care about me at all.”   
“We will never know what she was going through. I’m so grateful for that woman who called the police about you though. She saved you from what was surely a terrible situation.”   
“What happened to that man?”  
“He went to jail. He never did give up the names of the person he got you from though.”   
“Well, it all worked out in the end. I had awesome parents that’s all that matters.” 

“You handled that really well babe.” Elsa said that night.   
“I really don’t think it makes a difference. And I had a wonderful life with wonderful parents. When I hear about the things that you went through I know that it could have been so much worse.”   
“Still. You’re remarkable. And I agree, your parents are pretty great.”   
“They’re pretty fond of you too. So, don’t go anywhere, you’ll break their hearts.”   
“I’m not going anywhere.” Elsa buried her face in Anna’s hair.   
“I know you don’t like to talk about your sister, but maybe she had a happy ending too.”   
Alison. What happened to her? Did mom really sell her like I thought? How many people sell their children? Elsa’s stomach lurched. No. There's no way. Think, Elsa, what did Alison look like? Did she have red hair? Elsa couldn’t remember.   
“Babe?”   
“I need to ask your parents something.”   
“Okay.” Anna went in search of her mom, finally finding her in the kitchen.   
“Mom? Elsa wanted to ask you a question.”   
“Sure honey. What is it Elsa?”  
“This might seem odd, but was Anna’s name Anna when you got her?”  
“No. I named her after my grandmother. We never knew her real name.”   
“Elsa? What’s going on?” Anna asked.   
Elsa stared at her girlfriend for a moment and then just shook her head. “Nothing.” 

“But Elsa, it’s Christmas.”   
“And that means I’m supposed to wear a ridiculous hat?”   
“Yes. Now put it on.” Elsa sighed. She already knew she wasn’t going to win this battle. “Why don’t you wear it?”   
“Elsa, we’re going to be late.”   
“Fine.” Elsa put the santa hat on. “Happy now?”   
“Yes.” The women got out of the car and rang Kristoff’s doorbell.   
“Merry Christmas!” Kristoff opened the door, wearing a pair of reindeer antlers. “Come meet my new best friend.”   
“Oh my god, you got a puppy.” Anna squealed.   
“Yeah. This is Sven.”   
“He’s so adorable. Come here Sven. Come see Auntie Anna.”   
“Well, we’ve lost her for the night.” Elsa grinned.   
“Yeah looks like it. Grab yourself a drink, I’ve got eggnog and cider.”   
Elsa tracked down Lauren. “You’ve got the package?”   
“Yep. I’ll drop it off in the morning.”   
“Thanks.” 

Once everyone was in front of the tree they exchanged gifts.   
“If I had known you got a puppy I would have brought him a gift too.” Anna grumbled.   
“I just got him a couple of days ago. I have a buddy that works at the shelter and they picked this little guy up from the side of the road. He texted me a picture and I just had to have him.”   
“He’s cute Kristoff.” Elsa said as the man unwrapped his gift.   
“Wow. This is really nice whiskey guys.Thanks.”   
“You’re welcome. Make sure you share with Sheryl.”   
“Ugh. No way I don’t know how he drinks that stuff.”   
“This is different babe. It’s an eighteen year old…”  
“That’s great sweetheart. And it’s all yours.”   
“I’ll help him drink it.” Dean piped up.   
“Hey, mitts off my bottle.”   
“Maybe you should unwrap your own gift Dan.”   
“Brandy? Awesome.”   
“Hmm, I’ll share with you if you share with me.” Kristoff said.   
“Deal.”   
“Here Elsa, this is from Kristoff and I.” Sheryl gave Elsa her gift.   
“A DNA kit?”   
“Yeah. Everybody’s doing them now. Kristoff did one and turns out he’s mostly Norwegian.”   
“I’m a viking!”   
“Thanks guys.” Elsa tried hard to act happy about the gift. 

On the ride back to Anna’s Elsa was quiet.   
“What’s wrong babe?”   
“Nothing. Just tired. I love our friends but they’re exhausting.”   
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you’re reaction to the DNA kit. Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”   
“Not right now.”   
“Okay.” 

The next morning Elsa was up early to get Anna’s gift from Lauren. She then had to wait several hours for the redhead to wake up, so she busied herself making chocolate chip pancakes with hot chocolate.  
“Merry Christmas babe.” Anna finally emerged from the bedroom.   
“Merry Christmas. Your gift is in the tree.”   
“In the tree? You mean under the tree right?”   
Elsa turned to look back into the living room. “Nope, I mean in the tree.”   
Anna approached the tree suspiciously. Elsa waited for her to locate the tiny kitten she had placed under the tree hours before, only to have the little guy wake up and climb into the tree branches. When Anna finally saw it she squealed.   
“Oh my god, Elsa, he’s so cute. Or she? What is it? It’s so cute!”   
“It's a boy.”   
“I’m gonna die, it's too cute. I can’t stand it.”   
“Do you like him?”   
“Yes.” Anna cradled the tiny orange tabby kitten. “His name shall be Oscar.”   
Elsa smiled. “Well, Oscar has a lot of stuff hidden in my trunk. Food, beds, toys, litter. I’m going to go bring it in.”   
“Okay. I’ll be right here.” 

An hour later Elsa had finished setting up all of the kittens things. “Are you ever going to put him down?”   
“No.”   
“But what about me?” she pouted. “How am i supposed to kiss you?”   
“We’ll figure it out. But I suppose I should give you your gift.”  
“Hopefully it’s not a kitten.”   
“No. I didn’t think you’re an animal person.”   
“I am. Not as much as you though.”   
“Okay. I just need to go get it. Here, hold the baby.” Anna gently set Oscar down in Elsa’s lap. When she came back into the room she looked a little nervous. She sat back down next to Elsa on the sofa.   
“Elsa, what I’m about to say might seem a little crazy, I don’t know. We’ve only known each other for six months. But I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I’m in love with you and that I don’t ever want to be apart from you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You’re it for me.” Anna slid off the couch onto one knee and held up a box. “Elsa, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and you’re perfect for me. I love you so much. Will you marry me?” 

Elsa just stared at her for a moment. “I...I...I don’t that’s a good idea.”   
Anna was clearly shocked. “You don’t feel the same way?”  
“That’s not it. I do. Anna I love you. Please don’t think that I don’t”   
“Then what is it?”   
“I just can’t. I’m sorry.”   
“Do you not want to be with me anymore?”   
“I do. But maybe I shouldn't.”   
“Elsa I don’t understand.”   
“I’m sorry Anna. I’m so sorry.” Elsa abruptly stood up. “I need to go.”   
“No, Elsa don’t run away. Talk to me.”   
“I can’t right now.” Elsa walked slowly to the door. “I’m sorry.” And with that, she was gone.


	12. Promises

Every day for the next few months Elsa stared at the DNA kit sitting on her kitchen counter. Just take the test Elsa. She couldn’t. She couldn't bring herself to find out if she had fallen in love with her little sister, if she had been making love to Alison for months. She refused to answer Anna’s calls and texts, knowing she was hurting the woman she loved but unable to face the reality. Every day was a nightmare in which she went to work early, stayed late, and went home alone to sleep away the pain. 

By April Lauren and Dean were forced to come to a difficult decision. They approached Elsa at the end of the work day as she prepared to leave.   
“Elsa. We need to talk to you.”   
“That sounds ominous.”   
“Elsa, we love you. You know that right?”  
“Yes….where is this going?”  
“We feel that you should take a leave of absence.”   
“Why?”  
“Elsa, you’ve completely changed. You’ve gone back to the old Elsa, and frankly you’re even worse than before. You wouldn’t tell us what happened with Anna but it’s clearly affecting you and your work. You aren’t effective as a therapist right now.”   
Elsa sighed. She knew they were right, but if she didn’t have her work she had nothing.   
“I’m sorry guys. I don’t know what to do. But I can’t stay home and do nothing.”  
“Can’t you please talk to us?” Lauren begged. “We care about you, and Anna.” Elsa hadn’t told anyone why she broke things off with the woman she clearly loved.   
“Anna asked me to marry her.”   
“Ok. I can understand if that was too soon. But you didn’t have to break up over it. You guys could have talked it out.”   
“It wasn’t too soon.”   
“So you don’t want to marry her at all?” Dean asked.  
“I want nothing more.”   
“You’re loosing me then.The woman you love and want to marry proposed, and you ran away and won’t talk to her. And you’re clearly miserable.”   
Elsa looked at her friends. She had to tell someone. “I never talk about my life before college so there are a lot of things you guys don’t know.”   
“Yes, we are aware of that El.”   
“I had a really shitty life. My mom was a drug addict, she wasn’t around much and when she was it was pretty bad.”   
“I’m sorry Elsa. I know that sucks.” Lauren said.  
“Oh, I’m over that. She passed away while I was in grad school, overdose of course. I didn’t care then and I still don’t. The worst part is that I actually had a younger sister. When she was still a toddler she disappeared. My mom wouldn’t tell me what happened to her, and growing up I assumed she sold her for drugs, or gave her away because she didn’t want her. Although, I suppose she could have killed her. Accidently, you know and then just disposed of her. If that happened they never found her body, I’ve been doing some research lately and no children were ever found matching her description.”   
“That’s terrible Elsa.” Dean said, taking her hand.  
“I had learned to live with it. And then I met Anna. Did you know she’s adopted?”   
“Yes.”   
“She never knew her birth parents, not even their names. She was taken by social services because she was in the possession of a known criminal and child abuser.”   
“Yes. We know. We’ve spent time with her the last few months.”  
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”  
“Go on Elsa.”  
“The guy bought her from someone. He never said who, or what her real name was, or where he got her from.”   
“Elsa, sweetheart, we know all this. And it’s really sad that you both have such tragic pasts, but”   
“We’re both from North Carolina.”   
Dean was the first one to make the connection. “You think she’s your sister?”  
“I had a younger sister who was most likely sold. Anna is a few years younger than me and was sold as a child. From the same state. How can that be a coincidence?”   
“I don’t know. But Elsa, why didn’t you tell her? Do you know what you’ve done to her? She thinks you just didn’t love her. You should see her, she looks terrible. She’s lost weight, she doesn’t sleep. Why wouldn’t you just communicate?”   
“Because if I tell her, it becomes real?”  
“Elsa. You have to tell her. She deserves to know the truth.” Elsa knew they were right. This was Anna’s life too.  
“We’ll be there to support you. Let’s call her now.”   
“Okay.” 

The trio arrived at Anna’s home an hour later. Elsa was shocked at Anna’s appearance. Although she was still beautiful it was clear the breakup had taken a toll on her. The four sat around the kitchen table, Oscar curled up in Anna’s lap.   
“You wanted to tell me something?” Anna started.   
“Yes. And I need to apologize for running away. For not telling you to begin with.”   
“Yeah, that was really fucking traumatizing to be honest.”   
“I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Anna, I have never loved anyone the way I love you and I never will.”   
“Then why?”   
“That stupid DNA test. The one Kristoff gave me. I had suspicions before, but that test…”   
“Elsa, you’re not making sense.”   
“Sorry.” Elsa laid out her worries to Anna.   
“So, you said no because you’re afraid we’re actually sisters?”   
“Yes.”   
“And you didn’t tell me, or just take the stupid test because?”  
“Because as long as I didn’t know for sure, I could pretend it didn’t matter. When we were at your parents house and I heard the story for the first time I started to wonder. I told myself it could be coincidence. It's always been there though, in the back of my mind. But when you asked me to marry you, I knew I couldn’t do that to you. Let you marry your own sister. And I couldn’t tell you because you’d want to find out for sure. You’d ask me to take the test and then it would be over.”   
“Okay. Well. Let's look at the all the possible outcomes of taking the test. One is that we find out that we are not sisters. What happens then?”   
“I don’t know. Would you even still want to be with me after what I’ve done?”   
“Yes.”   
“Ok. In that case we live happily ever after. And I still don’t know what happened to Alison, which is sad but I’ve learned to live with that.”   
“Or, you do find her. Maybe it isn’t me, but she’s out there living her life, hoping to one day get a match to you. If I got lucky she might have too.”   
“I suppose.”   
“Okay. So the other possibility is that we find out we’re sisters. What does that mean?”   
“I finally find out what happened to Alison, and that she had a wonderful life and has an amazing family. No more guilt. But I lose something even more important.”   
“Do you? You won’t actually lose me.”   
“It won’t be the same though. I don’t love you like a sister. I’m in love with you. I don’t know how I would handle that kind of transition,or if I even could.”   
“I mean, it's kind of too late Elsa. We’ve already had sex. A lot of sex.”   
“Yeah, but we didn’t know. It would be different. We couldn’t…”  
“Guys could you give us a minute?” Anna asked.   
“Sure.” Lauren and Dean left the room. Anna turned to Elsa and took her hands.   
“Baby. I love you. Nothing else matters to me. I know other people would care but I don’t. I’ll still want you no matter what.”   
“It’s wrong.”   
“Says who? It’s not like we’re going to accidentally reproduce. No one will ever know.”   
“Lauren and Dean know.”   
“That’s simple. You tell them you took the DNA thing and we aren’t related.”   
“Anna, I don’t know. I don’t know if I could. As much as I love you and want you I don’t know if I could do those things knowing you’re my little sister.”   
“Then don’t take it. We can live in plausible deniability.”   
“You could do that?”  
“Yes. If you could. That would mean not knowing for sure what happened to your sister. It’s your decision. But I’m glad that I know the truth now. No matter what this is it’s much better than not knowing why you left. Please don’t cut me out of your life entirely.”   
Elsa looked into Anna’s eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.” She pulled Anna in and kissed her. Just that contact with Anna’s lips caused a fire to form inside her body. “I’m not going to take the test. I want to be with you. And Oscar.”   
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. I need you. My life is shit without you. I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything, more than I wanted out of my mother’s life, more than I wanted all those degrees. I want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up breathing you in.”   
“I love you so much. I’ll do anything for you. But you have to promise you’ll never run away like that again. I can’t handle it. I need you to talk to me if something is wrong.”   
“I promise.”   
Elsa called Lauren and Dean in and told them of her decision.   
“Does this mean you guys are back together, as a couple?” Lauren asked.  
“Yes. Does that bother you? Do you think that’s ok?”  
“I think it's the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”   
“I’m texting Kristoff right now.” Dean said. “He and Sheryl will be ecstatic.”

Lauren and Dean left a short time later and Elsa curled up on the couch with Oscar.   
“He got so big.”   
“He’s had a rough life. Single mom and all that.”  
“Anna, I’m so sorry. I’ll never be able to make it up to you.”   
“I’ll get over it. It might take a little while but I’ll let it go. I’m just so glad to have you back.”  
“I don’t know how I made it so long. I’ve missed you so much. You’ve got to eat more. You’re way too thin. You want some pizza?”   
“I’m starving actually.”   
“Ok. I’ll order.”   
Anna fell asleep snuggled against Elsa after dinner. The blonde ran her fingers though Anna’s hair and tried to keep the guilt she felt at bay. She had made her decision but part of her still felt as though she was committing a crime. Can I live a lifetime of not knowing? She wondered. Is my baby sister out there somewhere, or is she here in my arms?


	13. After

“Why do I have to wear this blindfold?”   
“I want this to be a surprise.”   
“How much longer?”  
“Not long.” Elsa pulled her car up the driveway of her new home. Their new home. “Okay.”   
Anna yanked the blindfold off and was stunned to find herself in front of a replica of the victorian birdhouse. “Elsa?”   
“Do you like it?”   
“It’s exactly the same.”   
“Almost. Kristoff and I have been working on it for a couple of months.”   
“You bought it?”   
“I did. I bought it for you. For us.”   
“I love it Elsa. Can we go inside?”   
Elsa handed her girlfriend a key. “It’s your house babe.”   
When Anna entered she found their friends already inside, along with her parents.   
“Surprise!” Everyone shouted.   
“Happy birthday sweet pea!” Idunn gave her daughter a hug.  
“Thanks mom. This is a big surprise.”   
“Come on, I’ll give you a tour before you dive into that cake.” Elsa grabbed her hand.   
Anna gasped as they entered each new room. Elsa had already moved most of her personal belongings in but much of the space was bare.   
“When did you have time to do all this?”   
“When you are at work. We hardly ever go to my condo anyway so it’s not like you noticed stuff missing.”   
“Very sneaky.”  
“We can decorate however you want. I sold most of my furniture. Kristoff and Dean are available all weekend to help move your stuff.”   
“Elsa it’s beautiful. I’m just a little overwhelmed. We didn’t even talk about moving in together.”   
“You’ve been dropping hints for a couple of months now that your lease is almost up.”   
“Yeah. But you never took the bait so I thought you weren't ready.”   
“I really wanted this to be a surprise. We have an appointment Monday to add your name to all the paperwork.”   
“Really?”   
“Yes. This is our home baby.”  
“I love you Elsa.”   
“I love you too.” 

The next day her parents helped her pack her belongings while Elsa set out for a local furniture store with a list of things they had chosen together on the website the night before.   
“Anna, we didn’t want to bring this up on your birthday, but a detective from North Carolina called us last week. They have new information in your case.” Agnar said.   
Anna felt a pit of dread form in her gut. “Oh?”  
“The man who went to jail, the one whose mother turned him, in has been in maximum security all this time. He contacted detectives and offered the name of the man he bought you from for a move to minimum security. The police interviewed this man, they believe he is responsible for quite a bit of child trafficking during the 80’s and 90’s.”  
“He would seek out vulnerable women, women who had drug problems, who worked as prostitutes, homeless women. He would offer to buy their young children and then he would sell them to the highest bidder.” Idunn chimed in.   
“I see.”   
“The police don’t have a list of names of the women he bought from, but they are hoping he will give more information in exchange for lighter sentencing.”   
“So, this happened to more than one child? It wasn’t just me?”  
“That’s right. Of course, most of those children were never seen again.”   
“Listen, don’t mention this to Elsa, ok?” Anna said.   
“Ok, but i’m sure she would be supportive.”  
“No. Please, I don’t want her to know.” 

A month later Elsa took Anna back to Camp Arendelle. It marked one year since they had been forced together as partners.   
“You’re sure you want to go hiking and camping Elsa? You’re not really one for the outdoors.”   
“I’m sure. Let’s not waste daylight babe.”   
They hiked to the falls and set up camp, finishing with plenty of daylight left.   
“You think Oscar is ok?” Anna asked.   
“I think Lauren is taking very good care of him. And that lazy bum probably has no idea we’re gone.”   
“Don’t talk about our son like that.”   
Elsa rolled her eyes. “Come on, let's go to the waterfall before it gets dark.”   
Anna followed her girlfriend willingly. “Elsa, I need to tell you something.”   
“Is it bad?”   
“I don’t know.” Anna filled Elsa in on the police investigation. “I wasn’t going to tell you. But that didn’t seem right. I don’t like having secrets from you.”   
Elsa smiled. “It’s ok. I actually have to talk to you about something as well. I took the DNA test.”   
Anna gasped. “What did it say. Wait I didn’t get any notifications, so we didn’t match then?”  
“I don’t know yet. We’ll find out in about a week.” Elsa pulled Anna across the stones, behind the waterfall.   
“Elsa, I’m scared.”   
“Remember our first kiss? I was terrified then. I was letting someone in behind all the walls I had spent years building up.”   
“Of course I remember. I had never been kissed like that before.”  
“Anna, I told you about the DNA test now for a reason. We’re going to get the results, and we’re going to live with those results. But it changes nothing.”  
“You say that now but”   
“Anna, I want to ask you something. I want to ask you before we find out the truth, because the truth doesn’t matter. Not for this. This is what I want, no matter what.” Elsa dropped to one knee. “Anna, I made a huge mistake in December. I never should have ran away from you, ran away from what I wanted. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what. There could never be anyone else. I don’t know what that test will show, but regardless, I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”   
“Really? If we find out we’re related you won’t take it back?”   
“I’ll never take it back. Never.”   
“Yes Elsa. I will marry you.”


End file.
